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A guy that can't speak runs through the same 5 castles 80 times dying over and over again so he can kill a slug under his home.
A guy shoots walking mushrooms to save the world, and then decides to not save the world at the end.
You shoot enemies to make flashing colors appear on the screen everywhere and give yourself a seizure, while an annoying robot makes whitty one liners.

You play as a globe trotting mass murderer, and make whitty one liners to your 60-something friend. 
A guy named Big Boss tries to kill the boss. (The actual names of two characters). Also, everyone is bisexual.