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Cobretti2 on 19 October 2015
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ctk495 said:
Cobretti2 said:


The fact that you are one, then you should understand my original point further.  Humans by nature are a herd mentality people. Need to belong to a group.

Back home they got their friends and family etc... when they come to a foriegn land it can be a scary thing, so naturlaly they gather together where they have something common between them. This also happens with people who migrate countries if you haven't noticed.

Although they may be intrusive to you, they are only doing what instinct tells them too. Some people like yourself can handle the solitude and do not require that attention, but you cannot blame others who do.   Hell I have seen people moving away 200KMS in the same country!! from their home town complaining they loosing their "support network" and how hard life will be lol.

 

The best response you can give these people is something like  " I understand the situation you are in being an international student, although I would like to spend more time with you then I can offer, my alone studies are very important to me as it is the best way for me to retain information and I don't want to dissapoint my parents  with failing subjectes who have done everything they can to send me here. How about we catch up once a week ro two and do something"

 

At least this way you still make them feel needed and spenidng a couple hours a week is not so bad.

You got a good grasp of what's going on. Most of those kids come from a UWC school were I've heard they got strong support networks, while here its much more indepedent. Its completely different from my situation since I took a gap year and I used to live alone(with a younger cousin but we rarely saw each other and grandmother who was deaf) and had a job(being a product reviewer for clubs/restaurants) where I rarely interacted with people only with my boss online. You sound way too nice though, I think I'll be polite with this people instead of ignoring them. Even though, they have also ignored me. I'll mentioned this to my counsellor briefly.

I think that after awhile of being very independent, a small college feels like going back to high school or a step back in life. Where I feel 'above'-not superior- to a lot of drama/pettiness or I simply don't want to be involved. Since, after graduating high school, I intentionally lost all contact with everyone from my class. It feels like I have tasted freedom of not being tied to an institution but be free to pursue my passions-I really liked my job. 

Nah I used to think differently when I jsut did my engineering degree. It was like why are you not able to grasp simple things attitude. Not talking engineering concepts but like general logical concepts. People used to frustrate me a lot.

Then I did my MBA and learned there is like 6-8 types of people. In the workforce and at uni you encounter them all.  After that course I actually learned that not every person can be approached the same way.  Some require more attention, some require little, some require you to draw it out for them and some jsut want a detailed spill, some want you to be empethatic to them. 

I was lucky to learn that early and because of it, I was able to form some good friendships with people I would not normally talk to.  Ironically it is those which helped me get jobs in the end. 

I reckon you shoudl learn to adopt because once you dne your studies you will be pretty board anyway haha. Work is work and at the end of the day need some time to unwind  because of bad days and people that frustrate you for being lazy.