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ctk495 on 19 October 2015
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Cobretti2 said:
ctk495 said:

I am an international student, this invalidates most of what you've said. I was actually bothered by how intrusive some of them are, as how they want to force me to be their friend and since I didn't want to they are saying I am not friendly. 


The fact that you are one, then you should understand my original point further.  Humans by nature are a herd mentality people. Need to belong to a group.

Back home they got their friends and family etc... when they come to a foriegn land it can be a scary thing, so naturlaly they gather together where they have something common between them. This also happens with people who migrate countries if you haven't noticed.

Although they may be intrusive to you, they are only doing what instinct tells them too. Some people like yourself can handle the solitude and do not require that attention, but you cannot blame others who do.   Hell I have seen people moving away 200KMS in the same country!! from their home town complaining they loosing their "support network" and how hard life will be lol.

 

The best response you can give these people is something like  " I understand the situation you are in being an international student, although I would like to spend more time with you then I can offer, my alone studies are very important to me as it is the best way for me to retain information and I don't want to dissapoint my parents  with failing subjectes who have done everything they can to send me here. How about we catch up once a week ro two and do something"

 

At least this way you still make them feel needed and spenidng a couple hours a week is not so bad.

You got a good grasp of what's going on. Most of those kids come from a UWC school were I've heard they got strong support networks, while here its much more indepedent. Its completely different from my situation since I took a gap year and I used to live alone(with a younger cousin but we rarely saw each other and grandmother who was deaf) and had a job(being a product reviewer for clubs/restaurants) where I rarely interacted with people only with my boss online. You sound way too nice though, I think I'll be polite with this people instead of ignoring them. Even though, they have also ignored me. I'll mentioned this to my counsellor briefly.

I think that after awhile of being very independent, a small college feels like going back to high school or a step back in life. Where I feel 'above'-not superior- to a lot of drama/pettiness or I simply don't want to be involved. Since, after graduating high school, I intentionally lost all contact with everyone from my class. It feels like I have tasted freedom of not being tied to an institution but be free to pursue my passions-I really liked my job.