By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close

The Xperia Playstation will be a phone that locks into a Dual Shock shell. It will be something like the Wii U's gamepad except it will be attractive and stylish. It will interact wirelessly with a USB dongle (I hate that word) on your television. It will be massively popular with both casuals and cores. CoD will reach new heights.

Microsoft's SteamX service will be everywhere and will own the PC market completely, despite repeated lawsuits from the EU. SteamXboxes will be the size of a router.

After the widely criticized NX program, with franchises like Monster Hunter and Youkai Watch jumping ship, Nintendo will shift to browser and smart phone games. Nintendo-only gamers, after being exposed to the wider market, will lose their sense of loyalty and sales for everything but Splatoon and Pokemon will decline sharply. With his latest projects ending in confusion and failure, Miyamoto will tell everyone to 'fuck off' on twitter and turn to a life of alcohol and hostesses.