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You guys just really need to put yourself in that situation. Take some time to really think about how you would feel if this was happening to you. Think about every aspect of it. It is the most fucked up thing somebody could do to you, I mean really. If you really take some time to put yourself in that position, the betrayal and hurt you would feel might be excruciating depending on how close you felt to that person. Think about living a lie every day, and being lied to. Just try imagining somebody you are in love with having sex with someone else. Try putting yourself in the position of being forced to leave somebody just one day out of nowhere because you found out. Try letting go of the companionship and the bond that you have developed. Think about never seeing or being around that person again, just one day.
I have no remorse for these cheaters