Second school I went to and got kicked out of was a community college. Those who had high expectations have already given up on me. I end up frustrating anyone who tries to help me.
I started acting the way I do at a very specific point in my life. I was on an ADD medication that made me sick, I pushed away my friends and became a loner, my parents hit me, I got extremely depressed and suicidal. I ended up getting diagnosed with post traumatic stress and refused to take anti depressants and pretended to be better to get out of counseling. I lost all interest in all of the things I used to do. I don't really understand why I can't make myself do the things I used enjoy anymore. This was about 10 years ago.
I don't really see how that can explain my perpetual inability to succeed though. Or my being drawn to a sketchy life. But hey, its one of those factors I sometimes blame for this. I don't think I ever fully recovered from that because I was a stupid kid who wouldn't cooperate with those who were trying to help.
[2:08:58 am] Moongoddess256: being asian makes you naturally good at ddr
[2:09:22 am] gnizmo: its a weird genetic thing
[2:09:30 am] gnizmo: goes back to hunting giant crabs in feudal Japan
