cheshirescat on 17 June 2015
Here is how to make it truly appealing:
- Relax the offsides rule if not remove it completely, I mean I understand that soccer fans despise scoring but come the fuck on.
- Smaller field or double the amount of players.
- Two balls, if the game goes to overtime you introduce a third.
- Once you hit two minutes left in regulation (also just get rid of the arbitrary extra time for this to work) no more penalties.
- The goalie is allowed to run with the ball in his hands indefinitely anywhere on the field, even throw it into the opposing goal if he is able, but once he leaves the box it's completely legal to kick him in the head.
- Create a new position called the batter, one player on each team who is allowed to bat the ball with his hands (though he is not permitted to carry it) but is forbidden from kicking it.
- Headbutting is 100% legal, but if the player gets a concussion from headbutting or attempting to headbutt someone else he must remain in the game and not allowed medical attention until halftime or the game's finish.
- Games are played with purses like in combat sports, where the winning team takes the purse and the money is divided amongst players according to a percentage laid out in their contracts and performance incentives. The losers get nothing.
- Each team is permitted to place one tiger pit on the field and players aren't allowed to help their teammates out of the pit if someone should fall in.
- If a ball falls into one of said pits it is replaced with a new ball from the sideline. However, players can venture into the pits and retrieve the ball and it shall be legal, whereupon the game enters bonus ball time where 3+ balls are played with until there is a score, whereupon that ball is removed from play.
