Do not do this I am a professional.

[Onyxmeth]

Alasted said:

Nice list. I lack the necessary chutzpah to actually do any of this stuff, but--

8. Dirty rotten scum sucker.

Chances are you will be standing with strangers. Chances are you may never see them again, and even then they will probably not recall what you are about to do. Cell phones are the best way to do this. Just dial a number you know into your phone and hit disconnect. Then proceed to rant about something to a ficticious person. My favorite gag is having a daughter that wet the bed again, and vehemently suggest its time to use the cattle prod on her as a form of corporal punishment. Now someone might try to give you some lip about your sadistic practices. Just look at them and ask them if you were talking to them. Then turn around and continue with your pretend conversation. Laugh deep inside at all the emotional turmoil you have caused the group.

--I've always wanted to try this one with, "I know you think I'm a pedophile, but isn't that a big word for an eight year old?"

Did you get that from the SNL with Kutcher recently? That scene was hilarious.