From the sound of it, you just need to buy yourself some manly robes, some lotions and find yourself a nice girl... who is into swinging. Problem solved, well except the daughter issues.
EDIT: @ El Gefe (under this post): Why don't you see if your wife would be willing to experiment with some ffm (threeway)?
I don't understand why people go behind other people's backs to get off, when they just need to find a partner who is openminded to the things they like.