diamuerto on 18 June 2007
Ok, I know this one isn't Wii and it's really old, but I can never get over the stupidity of this review from Gamers Europe for SSB Melee.
Super Smash Bros. Melee
"For whatever reason, a few months ago the internet was alive with talk of this game being one of the greatest games Nintendo have ever produced. Why then has it proved to be one of the most disappointing Nintendo games and why was there so much hype to begin with? Interesting questions, along with the strange hype surrounding this game and coupled with unimpressive game mechanics make this an interesting title to review. Let’s get to work.
First off, why the hype? The original wasn’t anything impressive – bland, unoriginal and bizarrely it carried a Nintendo logo on the box. The previews that floated around didn’t boast of anything remarkable. Nintendo fans have yet again created a storm out of a tea cup. Unwanted hype for an undeserving game. The game itself is fairly straightforward, pick one of the many Nintendo characters that have been designed over the years and pitch them in battle against each other. It’s not a Tekken type of beat ‘em up, its roots could probably be traced back to the crazy antics of the likes of Street Fighter. Think of the craziest moves in Street Fighter (any one, even the recent ones), make the buttons incredibly simple and you've got a basic overview of SSBM. While the arenas are designed in 3D, it’s a fully side-scrolling fighter – there’s no moving around the arena, just left to right. Having said that, the arenas are well designed and are mostly areas encountered in previous Nintendo games, from Princess Peach’s castle to the Pokemon arena. There are platforms on the arena that you can jump upon, so while it’s not in 3D there are plenty of opportunities for some close-quarters combat and some well-timed jumping.
The graphics are something else that has to be beaten down – they’re not up to scratch. They’re as uninspired as the arenas, flat and lifeless is how best to describe them. We get the feeling though that they’re not meant to be spectacular, more they were designed to be non-confusing so it would be easy to spot where you are and where you can jump to. And they are, there’s no chance of you getting lost anywhere or confused as to where to jump, it’s all very flat. While the arena graphics are lifeless and little more can be said for the characters, there are some nice effects pulled off for special attacks. Lighting effects, shadows and colours are thrown about like a rainbow and it’s quite satisfying pulling off a big move and finishing off an opponent at the same time.
Overall bad graphics and ill thought-out arenas (there’s no freedom of movement, its left or right), what’s to like about this game? There’s a saving grace here that’s probably the one thing the developers thought would make this game sell and were it not for this feature this game would be a total abomination. Like the original, the gameplay is genius. Beating the living snot out of your least favourite Nintendo character is a lot of fun, even if all you can do is punch, kick, throw and a special move for each player. It’s simplistic in every sense of the word but it’s an awful lot of fun. The pace of the game is unstoppable, battles last on average less than a minute and it’s all very frantic. The frantic pace of the game renders the block move useless, by the time you press the right button you’ll have already been slammed to the floor. The gameplay is a lot of fun, but unfortunately the modes of play sit on top of the fun of the gameplay a lot of the time, having a partner in battles (which happens on occasion) renders your part in the game useless, just sit back and watch your AI controlled partner do the business. Aside from the expected progression mode, there’s also a 2D/3D platformer and another sub-game that has a puzzling element added to the basic combat system. It’s worth mentioning that the health system is nonexistent, instead of knocking your opponent’s bar down to 0%, you have to knock it up to around the 100%+ mark and punch (or kick, or whatever way you want) him/her out of the arena.
There are various weapons scattered throughout each arena that can be picked up to inflict some extra damage, from the standard array of pistols, knives etc to some stranger, Nintendo-exclusive items, including Pokeballs that can be thrown at your opponent which open up and release a Pokemon upon your foe. As is the backbone of every Nintendo game, there’s a strong leaning towards collecting things, in this case its extra characters, arenas and trophies. The trophies can be collected by either using coins collected around the game in a slot machine or by finding them during play. There are around 300 of them, each one is a model of something Nintendo related and they each carry their own biography of their history. As you can imagine, it’s full of in-jokes only Nintendo fans could comprehend.
There is a saving grace of this title in the gameplay, but it can’t excuse the fact that this game is a repeat of a sub-average game to begin with. To stick to the same formula isn’t something we expect from Nintendo, this game is far short of the quality we know they can come up with. A shame, but with Power Stone knocking around there's little point in lamenting."
First off, why the hype? The original wasn’t anything impressive – bland, unoriginal and bizarrely it carried a Nintendo logo on the box. The previews that floated around didn’t boast of anything remarkable. Nintendo fans have yet again created a storm out of a tea cup. Unwanted hype for an undeserving game. The game itself is fairly straightforward, pick one of the many Nintendo characters that have been designed over the years and pitch them in battle against each other. It’s not a Tekken type of beat ‘em up, its roots could probably be traced back to the crazy antics of the likes of Street Fighter. Think of the craziest moves in Street Fighter (any one, even the recent ones), make the buttons incredibly simple and you've got a basic overview of SSBM. While the arenas are designed in 3D, it’s a fully side-scrolling fighter – there’s no moving around the arena, just left to right. Having said that, the arenas are well designed and are mostly areas encountered in previous Nintendo games, from Princess Peach’s castle to the Pokemon arena. There are platforms on the arena that you can jump upon, so while it’s not in 3D there are plenty of opportunities for some close-quarters combat and some well-timed jumping.
The graphics are something else that has to be beaten down – they’re not up to scratch. They’re as uninspired as the arenas, flat and lifeless is how best to describe them. We get the feeling though that they’re not meant to be spectacular, more they were designed to be non-confusing so it would be easy to spot where you are and where you can jump to. And they are, there’s no chance of you getting lost anywhere or confused as to where to jump, it’s all very flat. While the arena graphics are lifeless and little more can be said for the characters, there are some nice effects pulled off for special attacks. Lighting effects, shadows and colours are thrown about like a rainbow and it’s quite satisfying pulling off a big move and finishing off an opponent at the same time.
Overall bad graphics and ill thought-out arenas (there’s no freedom of movement, its left or right), what’s to like about this game? There’s a saving grace here that’s probably the one thing the developers thought would make this game sell and were it not for this feature this game would be a total abomination. Like the original, the gameplay is genius. Beating the living snot out of your least favourite Nintendo character is a lot of fun, even if all you can do is punch, kick, throw and a special move for each player. It’s simplistic in every sense of the word but it’s an awful lot of fun. The pace of the game is unstoppable, battles last on average less than a minute and it’s all very frantic. The frantic pace of the game renders the block move useless, by the time you press the right button you’ll have already been slammed to the floor. The gameplay is a lot of fun, but unfortunately the modes of play sit on top of the fun of the gameplay a lot of the time, having a partner in battles (which happens on occasion) renders your part in the game useless, just sit back and watch your AI controlled partner do the business. Aside from the expected progression mode, there’s also a 2D/3D platformer and another sub-game that has a puzzling element added to the basic combat system. It’s worth mentioning that the health system is nonexistent, instead of knocking your opponent’s bar down to 0%, you have to knock it up to around the 100%+ mark and punch (or kick, or whatever way you want) him/her out of the arena.
There are various weapons scattered throughout each arena that can be picked up to inflict some extra damage, from the standard array of pistols, knives etc to some stranger, Nintendo-exclusive items, including Pokeballs that can be thrown at your opponent which open up and release a Pokemon upon your foe. As is the backbone of every Nintendo game, there’s a strong leaning towards collecting things, in this case its extra characters, arenas and trophies. The trophies can be collected by either using coins collected around the game in a slot machine or by finding them during play. There are around 300 of them, each one is a model of something Nintendo related and they each carry their own biography of their history. As you can imagine, it’s full of in-jokes only Nintendo fans could comprehend.
There is a saving grace of this title in the gameplay, but it can’t excuse the fact that this game is a repeat of a sub-average game to begin with. To stick to the same formula isn’t something we expect from Nintendo, this game is far short of the quality we know they can come up with. A shame, but with Power Stone knocking around there's little point in lamenting."
He gave it a 5/10. I mean where do you begin with all the flaws here. It's like the guy actually liked the game, but was paid to say it sucked. He says the arenas are well designed and then says there ill-thought out arenas. He beats down on the graphics even though there was a huge improvement. The character graphics were one of the most postive things that came out from most reviews at that time. He says the game lacks quality, but the gameplay is genius. And he goes on about gameplay being fun and genius and great. How can you call a game lack of quality if your praising how fun and great the gameplay is. Having your AI take care of everything, yeah right. Anyone who's played it knows how hard the game can be, AI allies will get creamed if you don't help them(unless he was playing on very easy). I know this is old, but I can't help but think this guy sucked at the game too. Oh, that last part about Nintendo not sticking to the same formula was hilarious. Zelda/Mario same great formula for years. They should ban retards from reviewing games, or at least people who don't know how to play.
