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Sentient_Nebula said:
A perfect review system is one that:

1: Doesn't assign arbitrary numbers to the game
2: Accounts for the opinions of every person ever

I generally don't like reviews. While they're good for knowing what content the game has, and how polished it is, I don't like to rely on other people to conclude whether or not I would have fun wit the game.

I actually prefer Let's Plays, since I can just see the game for myself, and see if it's enjoyable.
mysteryman said:
A perfect review should also judge the game based on its genre. Some games could be a perfect example of a niche genre, yet overall an average game.

The reviewer should also clearly state their own bias and familiarity with that genre.

I appreciate the sentiment, but I think both these bolded requests are unreasonable. A reviewer, in my mind, need only account for one opinion: his own. We look to critics and reviewers, theoretically at least, because they have access and expertise we as consumers lack. Their job is to educate us. It's not to account for our opinions or tastes. 

As for the question of genres, which is related to the first request, I believe strongly that all games should be held to a common standard of excellence, regardless of genre. No game should be given a high score just because it manages to check off all the genre's boxes, so to speak. Sure, a critic can add a line at the end of his review stating that fans of the genre might be more interested than those who are agnostic, but the final score or recommendation should be grounded in the critic's own standards and tastes, not in the standards of the genre's fan base.