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          Brief Intro: The only thing I can say that took away from this game was that I wasn't there to experience the initial debut. I've jealously watched parts of it on youtube, but nothing really prepared me for..this . At times, the experience made me feel like my own murderous art was nothing more than macaroni haphazardly glued to red cardstock. And rightfully so. This game is twisted in the most deliciously provocative way and you can't help but admire the creativity - no, the unadulterated affection that has inspired such unnerving works such as "writhing chicken human abortion fetus", "spooky talking lunch bag", and "don't turn around". Well, to be fair, Ace of Base spawned that last one, but it was nicely referenced by the possessed radio which prompted me to take its advice and be on my less-than-merry way with a tune in my heart. 

 
I'm not sure why this soggy PB&J was talking to me, but that's part of the thrill! Anything can happen!

          You know...it's been a long time since I've felt this. Almost everyone who is a fan of the original series was asking "how do we fix this series?"....and there wasn't really any concrete answer. Some people advised a return to the previous formula of cumbersome action, and others said to work on atmosphere, while some even crazier fans responded that it needed to work on story. There just wasn't any right answer.


Just look how bright this light is. Truly, you are witnessing the awesome power of the PS4.

          As we've now learned, the right answer was to find a new director, a director who had the experience with what this series is really all about. And that's getting inside your head, taking your brain, and wringing it out like some over-bloodied crib blanket. The puzzles are fairly challenging, the spooks gratifying, and the art....don't even get me started. I was playing it with a friend, and they just couldn't get over how I kept stopping at the one painting at the end of the hallway and marvelling at the way the light danced over the intricately layered oil canvas. It literally stopped me in my tracks a dozen times. It's really beautiful. And then one time I turned the corner and there was a ghost in the hallway, so I (my friend will say I screamed out like a little girl) casually went back to the pretty painting. Damn you for distracting me, shiny object!


you can't quite see the proper effect on the artwork to the right, but it's amazing, even if it's a little jaggy

          There is really nothing in this game that isn't done flawlessly. And don't let anyone tell you it's not a game. Yes it's short. Yes, it's just one area. But it's a game alright, and it delivers better than most 59.99$ new releases do. I can't in any right-mind give P.T. a grade because it's simply not fair to other games...because it would be a 10. Like I said, the only possible thing I could even count as a negative is that I didn't play it at release. Because WOW, it must have been mindblowing to see the trailer at the end. You're just playing the game, being all like, "hey, this P.T. game is pretty awesome. I love indie developers (because you clearly own a ps4)...but I wonder what the title means"  and then the trailer starts and time stops. It's one last mind-fuck before you plan out how you're going to miserably bide your time until the real meat releases in 2 years.

Score:
On a scale of lizards to dinosaurs, I'm giving P.T. 2 gaggles of flamingo.
Go download it NOW, it's free.


Thanks for reading.