The Romantic Advice Thread

[Mr Khan]

Troll_Whisperer said:

Mr. Khan, congrats on your progress. It's great you overcame your fears, even if it's taken you a long ass time, lol.

For the coffee thing, being a few minutes early or late is not a big deal, as long as you don't make it seem like one. And don't worry if she's late, most people are usually late.

Remember it's not a date! Have fun, make her laugh if you can, have interesting conversations. You're enjoying some good company over some damn good coffee.

Don't talk TOO much about yourself, also show interest, ask her a few questions and listen to her. But don't just ask questions either, lol.

Also, don't talk too much about uni related stuff only, make it more personal and tell her stories about your stay in Japan or whatever makes you stand out, as long as it's not too nerdy. You can show her a couple of pictures, they are good conversation starters (but don't overwhelm her like it's a slide show).

Don't complain! Women don't dig that, seriously. Be positive and confident.

And no awkward silences, that's a sure-fire way of making her lose interest.

Anyway, I think this is all common sense and that you know it, but just a reminder. IT'S NOT A DATE. Have fun, enjoy, be cool, and and the end of it all tell her "let's do it again" and when she says "sure" ask for her number.

I'm on top of basically all of that. It was pointed out to me a few years ago that i talk about myself too much, so since then i've been trying to avoid that (or if not avoid it, simply give whatever anecdote i wanted to give and append it with "what about you, have you ever _______ like that?")

Getting away from Uni stuff is the trickiest part, just because i have only a vague idea of her likes and dislikes. I know better than to come out swinging with the gaming, or even mention it at all if it's not very salient to the point i'm making, but it's hard to move off into unknown territory like that. Not that i'm especially daunted. Part of the reason why i got deferred today was that she wanted to attend this one panel of speakers about "Green Jobs", but me, her, and a few other folks showed up about half an hour early, ended up watching funny internet videos so i can at least take a stab at preferences from that angle.