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Oh man I have a bunch from Ratchet Deadlocked they're frickin hilarious:

ShellShock: Those Omega Twins went out like wee little girly men!
Dallas: Yes, quite ironic, seeing as they were actually teenage girls.
ShellShock: Yah... ironic.

or

Dallas: Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time.