Let's Create the Worst Game Possible! (All suggestions in first post)

[ghettoglamour]

The game has an annoying sidekick with an auto-tune-ish voice, but doesn't speak any real language.

Evey 5 minutes the game makes an annoying "beep beep" sound which means the sidekick wants to tell you something. It won't stop beeping until you hit the button and let it give you a stupid advice like:

"if you shoot an enemy in the head there is a 95% probability that you will kill him"
"that man over there is an enemy. you have to kill him"
"try pointing at enemies when you shoot your gun"
"have you tried shooting your gun?"
"do you need a tutorial on shooting your gun?"

when you're low on health, another even more annoying beeping sound will pop up. on top of that, the other beep sound will also play until you press the button and the sidekick tells you that the warning sound means you're low on health and you should heal yourself.