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LemonSlice said:

By the gods, man! Alleycat is one of the first games I ever played and one of my favorite games ever! What's wrong with the controls, exactly? I never had a problem with them, not even when I was very little. It can get frustrating and difficult on later levels, though.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..." XD

 

It was far from the first game I ever played. I hated the jump controls, imprecise hit detection and annoying broom. There was much better around to play.
For example Lazy Jones, same type of game basically. I still have that tune stuck in my head.