I have never actually tried the multiplayer in any of those two games but I assume it is very similar to all the others.
In saying that I found the combat system to be better in Graces because it was more single character combo heavy BUT I dont think it would work as well if another player was present. So I would say Xillia might be better for multiplayer.
I would suggest looking at the co-optimus website for a review of the multiplayer, but they have given both the same score.
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