Rambi80 on 26 May 2014
EPISODE 10
Gamestop reported increased profits of 68 million this year. It’s almost as if nobody takes our angry rants on internet forums seriously
1) The rubix cube celebrated its 40th anniversary recently and so naturally, Universal studios decided that this was a good opportunity to pick up the movie rights. In the upcoming movie, the cube will make its debut as a new Transformer called “Life Waster.”
Next up: Jenga
2) After the resounding success of Octodad on the PS4 in the US, Sony was eager to bring the title over to Japan where the software lineup has been less than spectacular. However, this has resulted in disaster as Young Horses, the studio behind the title is not pleased with the localization process. Why? Well, lets just say that the Japanese have certain “expectations” of a story that is centered on an Octopus married to a woman.
3)A lot of criticism this week as to the increased energy demands of consoles. These biased reports, as usual, fail to represent the bigger picture. While the consoles do indeed consume more power, they cause users to enter a stupor where they exist in the same dirty clothes for days in dark rooms thus resulting in an overall reduction in energy use age.
Furthermore,they hardly ever leave these rooms and thus,utilize less of that horrific carbon emitting transport. Also, for some strange reason, consoles seem to be correlated with diminished reproductive rates, thus further reducing carbon footprints significantly. So, contrary to popular opinion, if you want the country to go green, then a console in every home is the answer.
4) Gaming’s oldest Country Club has been dealt a serious blow with organizers at E3 declaring that "Your company does not appear to be an active media outlet with ongoing coverage of the Interactive Entertainment Industry and as a result you do not qualify for a media badge. If you are still interested in attending E3 2014, you may qualify for a paid admission."
I have to agree with them, I can’t find a single Titanfall or Watchdogs video on that site. Microsoft offered to invite them as special guests while their applications for membership were being reviewed but Neogaf failed to see the silver lining (or irony) in the situation. Looks like they banned one Industry Insider too many. Still, at least they didn’t have to wait 2 years for a response.
NeoGaf – For the more sophisticated shut-in.
5) As E3 approaches, the major players plot to “win E3” (whatever that means). Sony has announced a “new format”. They are going to surrender their allotted time to Microsoft. They explained that “based on the data from last year, nothing can go wrong.”
Undeterred by Sony’s trolling, MS said that we can expect “Something never before seen at E3”. That’s right folks, MS are going to show something that can actually increase your chances of getting laid.
6) YouTube has announced plans to buy Twitch. After witnessing the phenomena that was "twitch plays Pokémon", Google has become interested in social gaming as a team building exercise. They initially plan to have a companywide game of “twitch plays monopoly” where they go around buying everything and making everyone else miserable. No reason to feel left out though, the public will be allowed access to “twitch plays detective” where each week we try to figure out who our user data is being sold to.
7) Everyone is excited about the possibility of a Grand Theft Auto title coming to Vita. If fact, Nintendo of Europe were so excited that they accidentally posted a video of the Vita in a tweet that was supposed to contain upcoming e-shop games. Careful now, Freudian Slips can often result in Pink Slips.
8) An unemployed Colorado teen was arrested after robbing a bank of $1300. No, he was not high because instead of going to Taco Bell, he instead tried to buy games and a console. Upon arrest, he claimed to be unaware that banks had these things called cameras. To teach him a lesson in irony, the cops let him keep that copy of Watchdogs.
Don’t feel too sorry for him though. By the time he gets out he should he highly employable. His incarceration gives him a unique chance to master game theory as he should soon be pondering a much more advanced version of “The prisoner’s dilemma”
9) Pirates got more than they bargained for this week when a popular torrent for Watchdogs installed a bit coin miner on their computers. They are pitching this as a new business model entitled “DLC that pays for itself.”
Looks like some users *Puts on Sunglasses* BIT off more than they could chew. YEAAAHHHHH!!!
Gamestop reported increased profits of 68 million this year. It’s almost as if nobody takes our angry rants on internet forums seriously
1) The rubix cube celebrated its 40th anniversary recently and so naturally, Universal studios decided that this was a good opportunity to pick up the movie rights. In the upcoming movie, the cube will make its debut as a new Transformer called “Life Waster.”
Next up: Jenga
2) After the resounding success of Octodad on the PS4 in the US, Sony was eager to bring the title over to Japan where the software lineup has been less than spectacular. However, this has resulted in disaster as Young Horses, the studio behind the title is not pleased with the localization process. Why? Well, lets just say that the Japanese have certain “expectations” of a story that is centered on an Octopus married to a woman.
3)A lot of criticism this week as to the increased energy demands of consoles. These biased reports, as usual, fail to represent the bigger picture. While the consoles do indeed consume more power, they cause users to enter a stupor where they exist in the same dirty clothes for days in dark rooms thus resulting in an overall reduction in energy use age.
Furthermore,they hardly ever leave these rooms and thus,utilize less of that horrific carbon emitting transport. Also, for some strange reason, consoles seem to be correlated with diminished reproductive rates, thus further reducing carbon footprints significantly. So, contrary to popular opinion, if you want the country to go green, then a console in every home is the answer.
4) Gaming’s oldest Country Club has been dealt a serious blow with organizers at E3 declaring that "Your company does not appear to be an active media outlet with ongoing coverage of the Interactive Entertainment Industry and as a result you do not qualify for a media badge. If you are still interested in attending E3 2014, you may qualify for a paid admission."
I have to agree with them, I can’t find a single Titanfall or Watchdogs video on that site. Microsoft offered to invite them as special guests while their applications for membership were being reviewed but Neogaf failed to see the silver lining (or irony) in the situation. Looks like they banned one Industry Insider too many. Still, at least they didn’t have to wait 2 years for a response.
NeoGaf – For the more sophisticated shut-in.
5) As E3 approaches, the major players plot to “win E3” (whatever that means). Sony has announced a “new format”. They are going to surrender their allotted time to Microsoft. They explained that “based on the data from last year, nothing can go wrong.”
Undeterred by Sony’s trolling, MS said that we can expect “Something never before seen at E3”. That’s right folks, MS are going to show something that can actually increase your chances of getting laid.
6) YouTube has announced plans to buy Twitch. After witnessing the phenomena that was "twitch plays Pokémon", Google has become interested in social gaming as a team building exercise. They initially plan to have a companywide game of “twitch plays monopoly” where they go around buying everything and making everyone else miserable. No reason to feel left out though, the public will be allowed access to “twitch plays detective” where each week we try to figure out who our user data is being sold to.
7) Everyone is excited about the possibility of a Grand Theft Auto title coming to Vita. If fact, Nintendo of Europe were so excited that they accidentally posted a video of the Vita in a tweet that was supposed to contain upcoming e-shop games. Careful now, Freudian Slips can often result in Pink Slips.
8) An unemployed Colorado teen was arrested after robbing a bank of $1300. No, he was not high because instead of going to Taco Bell, he instead tried to buy games and a console. Upon arrest, he claimed to be unaware that banks had these things called cameras. To teach him a lesson in irony, the cops let him keep that copy of Watchdogs.
Don’t feel too sorry for him though. By the time he gets out he should he highly employable. His incarceration gives him a unique chance to master game theory as he should soon be pondering a much more advanced version of “The prisoner’s dilemma”
9) Pirates got more than they bargained for this week when a popular torrent for Watchdogs installed a bit coin miner on their computers. They are pitching this as a new business model entitled “DLC that pays for itself.”
Looks like some users *Puts on Sunglasses* BIT off more than they could chew. YEAAAHHHHH!!!
10) Ubisoft’s artwork for Far Cry 4 (shown above) has sparked a lot of controversy, with many persons seeing racism and imperialism. That’s the thing with art, every person sees something different. To underline this point, let’s take a look at what different people said when they looked at the painting.
Me: "It’s the future where Ellen DeGeneres is President. She has not aged well."
Larry the cable Guy – "Those mountains remind me of boobies."
Sigmund Freud – "Clearly it’s an attempt at subliminal advertising by Pepto Bismol."
Rush Limbaugh – "It’s your typical pro-gay, anti-gun left-wing liberal agenda."
Phil Spencer – "Okay. Look, for the last time, we’re sorry about the xbox one reveal. This is a bit overstated don’t you think? And we don’t even have any blond CEOs!"
Adam Silver – "Still better than Donald Sterling"
CIA Director – "We did not supply those weapons. I swear. This is off the record right?"
TV Exec – "It’s the new season of The Bachelor"
Online editor – "I see an opportunity to increase web traffic and ad revenue."
Foxconn employee – "Looks like a normal Tuesday."
Concerned Parent – "Do they use lead-free paint on those grenades?"
Big Daddy Kane - "Pimpin' Ain't Easy"
