Private Thread - Nothing to see here

[Rambi80]

EPISODE 9

Sony now ranks 12th on a list of trusted companies in Japan. See? People still love you when you're broke.

1) Birdly, is a contraption that uses the Oculus Rift to simulate the experience of flying like a bird. It’s very intricate machinery that places the user in a position that will surely bring out your inner Frat boy. Take a look.


Just be careful, pretending to be a bird is fine but I would draw the line at “getting stuffed.”

And before you ask, no, they have no plans to enable you to crap on pedestrians.

2) Top Electronic Arts executives are selling off stock like crazy as stock prices reach a 6-year high. Notable on the list is COO Peter Moore who netted a cool 3.4 million. Peter was ecstatic, saying that finally he can achieve his long-time dream of affording all the DLC that EA has produced.

This is in stark contrast to Sony executives who have taken a 50 % pay cut due to poor financial results. Kazuo Hirai was characteristically upbeat saying that he was adequately compensated with 2 years of free PS plus. Ok, calm down Kaz, no need to oversell it. They did allow him to select a game for PS Plus next month though. This was his choice.




3) The big news this week is definitely the removal of Kinect from the Xbox one. Newly promoted Phil Spencer was quick to point out that "In the long run, I think we'll actually end up with more Xbox Ones with Kinect out there with this strategy.” My teachers told me I would need to be good at math to work with computers……..Liars.

Yusuf Mehdi was equally quick to proclaim that "We're a pioneer with Kinect." Being a pioneer is no easy thing, just ask the Donner Party. At least now we know why all those other CEOs disappeared all of a sudden.

Contrary to popular belief, kinect removal has nothing to do with sales. The truth is far more disturbing. It seems that many Microsoft computers have displayed suicidal tendencies after being forced to take pictures of gamers nude. “I’ve never seen so many floppies!” remarked one victim “3.5''? They wish!”.

The suicide attempts involved the ordering of magnets from Amazon.com which were then drone-delivered. MS were then forced to agree to remove kinect as a result.

Don’t feel too bad for the hard drives though. PC theology speaks of “teh Cloud” where all data is stored upon death and where all data is seen as equal by that great defragmenter in the sky.

4) Nintendo stated this week that I single title can save the WiiU giving the example of Pokemon and the Gameboy. Having explained this 25 year old business strategy, everyone’s concerns were alleviated.

5) Yusuf Mehdi revealed recently that the reason for poor Xbox One sales had to do with the fact that users were happy with their 360s and did not see the need to upgrade.
“It was never our intention to make them happy he confessed, “We tried everything: RROD, E74, Disc Scratching, paid apps……eventually, Mattrick just lost it.”

6) Tecmo Koei Games hopes to sell 1 million copies of Hyrule Warriors on Wii U. When asked how this would be achieved, they replied “Two words – Jiggle & Physics.” No comment on “Hyrule Beach Volleyball” though.

7) If the Kickstarter campaign for a new Amplitude game for PlayStation 3 and PlayStation 4 comes up short, we will never see the game again, developer Harmonix says. They want $775,000 . Now stay calm everyone, the first step is

Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.

Having done that, the next step can be found here http://time.com/38796/6-hos...

Considering that Harmonix are the creators of the Rockband franchise, the entire situation reminds me of this: http://youtu.be/yTiexq37YQE



8) Bad news for Nintendo as Phillips has hit them with a lawsuit saying that their Wii U system violates some of their patents. They're asking for all Wii U sales to be stopped.
Nintendo’s lawyers responded “What the F@ck is a WiiU?” Strange, that’s the same reaction Phillips had when we asked if the Vita was next.

9) First, there were homophobia claims against Tomodochi life. Now there are racism claims against Mario Kart 8. Please, nobody tell the Transgender community about Birdo, Nintendo has enough problems.

10) Here’s a story for you conspiracy theorists out there. For Watchdogs, the PS4 version is 900p and the Xbox one version is 792p.

Now
900p-792p=108p.

1080p is 10 times 108p

On a scale of 1-10, 10 is exactly how fed-up I am of hearing about this resolution crap. The worst part is that every time this topic comes up, I have to use to bathroom for some strange reason. Maybe I have diabetes. Now that I think about it I….damn it! Gotta go.