Episode 8
Insomniac has a game where people drink energy drinks and then run around annoying you. So if you were wondering what it would be like to work in the games industry……
1) Sony VP of developer and publisher relations Adam Boyes has described indie games as "the heartbeat" of the game industry. No confirmation yet on EA being the colon of the industry, but with Activision spending a reported 500 million on Destiny, they are definitely the cojones.
2) Problems recently with the PSN store version of MLB 14 with Sony saying:
"Due to unforeseen issues, MLB 14 The Show for PS4 is not currently available for download via the PlayStation Store.”
The delay came about at the final round of Beta testing when testers kept falling asleep. That’s what happens when you watch baseball sober. Unwilling to change company drug use policy, they are currently trying to hire NASCAR fans to test the game. They have taken quite well to game testing, they have a high capacity for boredom and seem to love the idea of running in circles.
3) EA has said that we should not expect Mass effect to use virtual reality anytime soon. So the wait for an alien sex simulator continues. I’ll wait for you Liara…I’ll wait.
4) The new Sherlock Holmes game is coming to Xbox one and the best news is exclusive DLC has also been announced. In it, we get to find out who killed Don Mattricks career!
Spoiler alert – it’s actually Phil Spencer and Phil Harrison. The episode is called “FulPhillers of their own destiny”
5) Nintendo won’t allow gay relationships in Tomodochi Life. You can be gay FOR Nintendo but not ON Nintendo. As a consolation though, they have announced that they have upcoming character licensing deals, which includes a Kirby sex doll being made by Hoover, and yes, it has an angry face in the US market. Nintendo may not have your back, but they sure do have your front.
Many have accused Ninty of being homophobic and closed-minded, but I think that the following video proves otherwise.
(WARNING! - NSFW, PG-13, Side effects may include anal seepage, brain dysfunction and Justin Beiber obsession, The Surgeon General…well you get the idea. Seriously though, if you don't think making fun of Nintendo CEOs is appropriate, don't watch.
6) EA’s shares are rising fast after their earnings report. This could be bad news for the WiiU and Vita owners hoping for EA software support. But don’t bury those hopes dreams just yet, because Microsoft will just come and dig them up 30 years later.
Shame on you EA, but the joke is on you. You never supported the Dreamcast, but games are still being released for it. By that measure, I should be getting Vita games well past 2030.
Seriously, a game called Elysian Shadows is going to be released on Dreamcast.
7) Activision wants Call of Duty to be talked about as much as Game of Thrones and their upcoming DLC reflects this. Upcoming content includes:
a)“No Vows” – where you shoot up a wedding
b)“No Cadaver” – where you shoot Walkers
c)“No Boundaries” – where you have sex with your siblings ..after/before you shoot them
d)“No Progeny” – where you shoot your enemies children and
e)“No Russian part 2” – Where you invade Crimea…..and shoot …..stuff
It could be worse though, at least no one is talking about a Game of Thrones-inspired "Lair 2" yet.
8) It was recently revealed in the Sony financials that much of the financial problems have to do with the fact that Blu-Ray revenue is down. To combat this, Sony has gone back to the drawing board and has just revealed a new 185 GB cassette tape. How in the hell is something like that useful? Well, I’m glad you asked. Here are some of the more popular things that you can do with this ground re-treading technology.
a)Make that bondage porn video you always wanted to make
b) Conquer your OCD / Make a cat happy
c) Anyone can make a sex tape but now, you can wear yours! Still not enough tape to cover Kim Kardashian’s ass though. Waiting for that 500 gig.
d) Make that ironic art project. For best results, use laser discs and HD dvds
e) Build the dang fence! Multi-lingual threats sold separately.
f) Explain to your kids early about how society works / Get ironic revenge on a hipster
g) Sony’s Next Challenge.
