When I was twelve years old, I visited a friend's house for a weekend. One day, his mom cooked one of her "special" meals. I don't know what was in the food, but within 10 minutes of eating, I almost immediately lost control of my bowels without warning. I tried to go to the restroom, but it was occupied. My only choice was to grab a roll of paper towel and sneak out into the backyard to relieve myself; so that's what I did. For some reason, I thought it would be smart to place a cardboard box over the feces ("maybe they won't see it", I thought).
The next morning, there were flies all over the cardboard box. I realized my plan had failed. Of course, when he moved the box to investigate, he saw the steaming pile of shit that I left the night before. It even had some residue from his mom's cooking, but he didn't notice. Being the kids we were, he thought it was funny. I laughed too, to keep my cover. He says "No way! Who the fact took a shit in our backyard?!" Then for some reason I said "It was probably just a dog, dude." I didn't realize how stupid that was until I remembered the cardboard box conveniently placed over the crap. Upon realizing my mistake, I of course pretended that it was a joked and laughed. He laughed too.
It's been seven years and I still haven't told the family.







