I have always believed I was a fairly interesting person. I always knew I didn’t appear interesting to others on the surface, and that I just seemed average. But I always believed that was because I never really tried to be interesting. I thought that if I actually put in the effort to do so, I could appear interesting to at least some people. Whenever I put substantial effort into anything, I usually had success, so why not this as well. But when I actually tried to be interesting to others, I was met with continual failure.
My first reaction to this failure was denial. I couldn’t believe that I lacked the ability to compel others to gain an interest in myself; after all, I had so many ideas in my head that others would love to hear. So I kept trying and trying. Whenever I had the opportunity, I would try to say something funny, or do something interesting, but it would backfire 90% of the time. For example, when I would think of a funny joke to say, I would wait, thinking, asking myself “Is this joke really funny? Would I laugh at this?” Very rarely would I tell the joke and it would actually be good; but usually I would conclude that the joke was no good and I would back out, and I would think for too long that the joke wouldn’t be funny anymore.
After numerous similar failures, I started to realize that I’m just not an interesting person. Sure, I could say that I’m interesting on the inside, but I know that’s a poor excuse for uninteresting people. Every person – including boring people – could say their interesting on the inside. Sure, I’m relatively smart, but no one gives cares if you’re smart. I have accepted my place in the universe as an average boring person, but it’s still quite disturbing. I don’t really care that others don’t find me interesting, but it’s upsetting to find out that I’m incapable of doing something that I always thought I could be competent in. All those years thinking I was interesting, when I was actually just like every other below-average guy out there with minimum value to others. What about you VGChartz?
When did you realize you were boring and was it a shock to you?
