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So, Dr. Jack Sheppard is alive? And he works in Denver? Great news. Really sad to hear about that Pinkman kid though. Mr. White really saw the potential in that kid. Oh well, what'll do?

Edit : After reading through the comments, I'm surprised how many people thought the article was genuine.  The Rocky Mountain News doesn't exist anymore, hypospadias is a birth defect involving the male urethra, and Trimethylaminuria is fish odor syndrome.

Dr. Jack Sheppard is Jack from Lost.  Jessie Pinkman is from Breaking Bad, as is his friend Peter, or Skinny Pete.

And a brewery would never makes comments about Marijuana being addictive, alcohol is addictive, and causes far more than 37 deaths a day I'm sure.