Man, that was rough. People are feeling pretty down after watching that so-called "awards show" drag on for three hours with little cause for elation.
But... it had its moments, right? We've shared our displeasure with the industry and the companies who wasted our time tonight. Now let's lighten up a bit and appreciate the few parts of the show worth remembering, those times when you actually peeled your eyes from your 3DS/Vita/what-have-you to watch the goings-on, maybe even leaned forward in your seat a little bit, or let out some manner of laughter.
These are presented roughly in chronological order.
NUMBER 1: Geoff vs. Reggie
Nintendo's 10-minute-long demo of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze dragged on... and on... we knew the news ahead of time. Reggie comes out wearing a Samus pin for no good reason, the damn tease. We were all frustrated. Geoff Keighley, our Dorito Pope (god bless him), understood. He did his best, and I appreciated the attempt. He probed about Metroid's future ("The fans, I think, online are probably looking for a little more..."), but Reggie wouldn't bite. Cohost Joel McHale tried to change the subject and Reggie obliged, thwarting Geoff's crusade of righteousness -- but only for a moment. He persisted. "Seriously, Reggie, a lot of the fans here are watching, we know there's been lots of anticipation... but the fans are wondering, is there any other news Nintendo wants to share with us?" Reggie then chastised Geoff for "going off prompter" -- this was all unscripted. Geoff, still smiling, warned Reggie that there would be some backlash if he didn't have anything else to announce. Reggie never caved, but the effort was not lost on me. Thanks for trying, Geoff.
NUMBER 2: Pick One of the Comedy Skits
Maybe you're a big fan of Smosh, or maybe you prefer Mega64. Hell, maybe PewDiePie tickles your funny bone, for whatever reason. Odds are, you found something to laugh at tonight; comedic taste varies, and I won't discriminate. Personally, I was looking forward to Mega64's bit, and (unlike almost everyone else in attendance) they didn't disappoint. Here's to the folks who lightened your mood.
NUMBER 3: Naughty God
Do I have to explain this one? I'm sure you've seen the gif by now. Thanks, Naughty God. You got just as good a laugh out of me as Mega64 did, and as yours caught me by surprise, it was even better. You could've earned your award on that alone, but I guess you guys made a pretty good game, too. Congratulations.
NUMBER 4: No Man's Sky
I'm sure you expected this, and there's a good reason why. At a show filled with same-old, same-old, only one game actually exceeded viewers' expectations and delivered something new. Other games were there to be marketed -- they were being sold to us, not shown. Sean Murray from Hello Games was plainly excited just to talk about his game. He had an enthusiasm for his project that was unrivaled by any other developer at VGX. Thankfully, McHale managed to keep his mouth shut for long enough for Murray to explain the ideas driving his game's development. Hello Games got loads of great press for their title, and we got to see someone who actually cared reveal a promising-looking game. Isn't it nice how it benefits both sides when things are done right?
NUMBER 5: Geoff's Unofficial Apology
Midway through the final hour of the event, sandwiched between the second Thief trailer of the night and an obvious plug for TwitchTV, Geoff Keighley sits alone, his cohost nowhere in sight. Our Dorito Pope casually, almost sadly, goes (I can only assume) off prompter once more. To me, he sounded downright apologetic at this point: "I was online seeing the reaction to No Man's Sky, which is so awesome to see. That's what this show should be about, is showing you games that surprise you from places you wouldn't expect and [it's] awesome to see Sean and Hello Games get that kind of reaction." That's what this show should be about. His honest disappointment in his own production was obvious. We can do better, we should do better -- we deserve better.
