Post Your Mind

[hatmoza]

Baalzamon said:
So a girl I have taken an interest to while working with her in the last few months just had her boyfriend break up with her about 2 1/2 weeks ago. It hit her incredibly hard...they had been dating for a couple of years...she had to take 2 weeks off of school/work etc.

Here's the problems:
1.) I don't want to be the guy that asks her out too early when she is still in a mourning stage, but I also don't want to be the guy that never got to ask her out because she started dating another dude before I got the chance. Basically I have no clue when exactly that right time is. I've almost thought something along the lines of just going out for a coffee and chatting some wouldn't be too aggressive, even after only a few weeks, but I'm really not sure.

2.) I'm going to be moving out of town in like...a month and a half. I will still likely be coming up often enough, but it will be an hour and a half drive. I realize the first thing some of you will think is...just let it be, the drive will make it not work, but I'm more of the mindset that if we just got to where we went on occasional dates prior to me moving...then we could just take it slow from there. Not asking for anything serious right away...that didn't work too well in the past. And if it doesn't work out quickly, then it likely never got serious anyways, so no super harm done.

So being as today was the first time I had seen her in like two and a half weeks, I knew I had to come up with a game-plan. I have no clue whether or not it was a good one, but it is to make her as happy as possible whenever she is at work with me, knowing that she is going through a tough time. I could tell at the beginning of the shift she was really struggling. By the end of the shift, she was laughing with me, and I even walked with her out to the parking lot. I get another full shift with her tomorrow, and am hoping to accomplish the same thing.

Here's problem 3: Above and beyond the moving in a month and a half thing, I'm only going to be working at my job for another 2 weeks. So somehow getting a first date would have to go down in that amount of time or less.

I know this whole entire thing is a stretch, but it is really something I want to try to accomplish, as I have really struggled with the whole asking girls out thing in my past, and I really do have an attraction towards this girl (The only first date I ever had was with my ex, and she sorta initiated the idea of us going on the first date...after that it was obviously much easier).

How do you two get along? How often do you communicate outside of work? How do you communicate period? From what I've read, I understand that you guys are not that close? And you just have feelings for her?

Consider the following instead of nose dive (and this is just personal experience), sometimes establishing a close bond of friendship with someone instead of going straight into relationship mode is the best approach. Most of my work-related relationships happened unnintentionally because dating was the last thing on my mind, and I could just be natural. Attraction followed later. 

You say you have two weeks... I suggest the above, then wait the last few days you're at work to tell her how you feel.It's time sensitive, and if you are not going to see her again after your work is done, you might as well give it a shot. Better than regret not doing so later.

 

Also, NEVER underestimate the lingering feelings a girl may have to her ex after a break-up... it could take months for her to get over it and think about moving on.

Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Expect nothing.

 

EDIT: At the very least, get her number and try and stay in touch afterwards. Even if just as friends.