It just comes down to men and women looking for different things in partners...
Yes, men look primarily for beauty. This is not a conspiracy by a patriarchy or shallow men, it's biology.
Women desire looks to some extent, but the main concern is the ability to provide resources and safety. This can also be explained by evolutionary psychology.
Simple proof of this for any guy in here ... let's say I present you with an attractive woman and I ask if you would date her, but I also tell you that she has been working at McDonald's for the last 5 years, has no degree, barely finished high school, and has zero ambition.
Chances are most men would still date her even though, if sexes were reversed, she would be called a loser. Men are interested in beauty, on average, and not in the provision of resources (men are socially expected to be providers themselves).
For women, if I presented you with a man that is ripped, can bench 300 lbs without breaking a sweat, and looks like he belongs on the cover of a romance novel ... but then I also tell you that he works at Mcdonalds for the last 5 years, has no degree, barely finished high school, and has zero ambition.
Chances are most women would not date him. They might have a fling, but this type of man can barely afford to provide for himself let alone a family. He drops a great number of points in overall attractiveness for women by virtue of this fact alone while a man really would not care, on average that is. A woman of any reasonable attractiveness would pass this guy up for a much less attractive, but far more successful lawyer, doctor, ect.
This is the way things are for many people. There are exceptions, but this is just a natural result of evolution and humans being a sexually dimorphic species.
Look at this in your own relationships. Ask yourself honestly if you think your partner would date you if your situations were reversed.
Not to go into too much detail, but I currently have a decent part time job, and, in less than a year, a master's degree. I am good with my money, and my career outlook looks optimistic. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has an art degree that took her nearly 7 years to obtain. She works a semi full time job that makes just barely above minimum wage. If it was her on the verge of getting a master's degree and me struggling to work a menial semi full time job ... I don't think she would be quite as interested in me, and we may never have started dating in the first place. Yes, relationships are more complicated than this, but when you first start dating someone, men and women are looking for these things ... it is just natural whether they are aware of it or not.
Patriarchy, feminism, and elaborate conspiracys did not cause this current state of affairs ... it was just evolution. The fact that we can become aware of this dynamic, however, gives us the ability to change things if we so desire ... unlike the rest of the animal kingdom.
