-CraZed- said:
You absolutely have no idea what a marriage killer is. Give me one study where 'bad sex' has contributed to the death of marriage. Heck just by your rationale, if two virgins meet and get married how would they know what bad sex even is? The fact of th ematter is money, differing value systems, lack of trust, addictions, PAST RELATIONSHIPS and lack of physical intimacy (not bad sex they are different) or infidelity are all the top reasons marriages fail.
Premises: 1. Love is emotional and physical. 2. Sex is emotional and physical. All of the emotional problems you listed can affect the emotional part of sex. The lack of fulfilling sex can affect the physical part of love. You just can't seperate sex from a relationship like that.
No one is saying you can seperate sex from a relationship in fact I am saying much the opposite. Its when people try to do that they fail. Its why 'starter' sexual relationships are a stupid idea. The claim was BAD SEX contributes to the death of marriages and that is just not the case.
I underlined and bolded past relationships as people who have premartial sex and relationships that are a so-called right of passage are a major issue for many people. Which you so eloquently tried to claim is somehow the way to better relationships. Sorry but you are misguided.
People need practice of every other social skill to become proficient. Why is love/sex something that would be automatic with the first time? Pre-marriage relationships are great preparation. Primarily they teach you that you're dealing with a complex human being and not an object of fulfillment. Do you really want the first time someone does something to be after they've made a lifelong commitment? What if they're not compatible?
People don't need practice screwing each other over for a piece of tail before they get it right. Don't you think there is a reason why following the "sexual revolution" divorce rates, teen pregnancy rates, abortion rates, single mother hood (which we know as a fact leads to increased rates of poverty and crime rates within certain demographics) have been on the rise? You see the conversation here is premaritak sex not premarital dating or premartital talking to girls/boys. Practicing on getting to know someone and letting them now you, then learning to trust and be trustworthy, then relying on one another and being reliable yourself, then actually commiting and then finally once you have comitted getting to the good stuff. If people did that they wouldn't have to worry as much about being compatible they'd know and wouldn't be blinded by the fact that if they break u where is their next piece of a$$ coming from etc. It's why many people let their relationships get so toxic becasue the sex is good or they had a kid together. You don't need to sleep with someone to get to know their complexity. In fact that just gets in the way of that goal.
I am far from some bible thumping zealot I haven't been to church since I was a kid. But I do know that there are many positives associated with many of the so-called fuddy duddy stuff associated with many religious practices such as waiting for marriage to have sex. Heck just the fact that you avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs ought to be enough for anyone to steer clear.
Abstitence-only sex education has a worse success rate than one that includes contraception. This is because, sure, while ideally zero sexual contact is zero transmission, people make mistakes. Even very well intentioned people. Unless you demand that people are perfect all of the time, moral teachings that only emphasise the religious principles are not effective enough.
Who is talkinjg about Abstinence only education? I just schooled you on STDs (I am a nurse for over 13 years and have seen some of the nastiest STD symptoms you'll ever see) and there is scientific data backing me up that those who attend religious services and have a background in faith are healthier and happier.Sex education is a noble goal but often is approached with as much tact as a peep show. Then we send out mixed signals and try to appeal to childrens funny bones etc. Sex ed is often not even taught by real professionals. Heck in a lot of schools the school nurses aren't doing the teching. It's left to the teacher willing to do it etc. and what the heck do they even know. And no we can't exoect 100% perfect people but that doesn't mean you can't stress abstinence. As it is the ONLY 100% fullproof way to avoid pregnancy and STDs.
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