-CraZed- said:
You absolutely have no idea what a marriage killer is. Give me one study where 'bad sex' has contributed to the death of marriage. Heck just by your rationale, if two virgins meet and get married how would they know what bad sex even is? The fact of th ematter is money, differing value systems, lack of trust, addictions, PAST RELATIONSHIPS and lack of physical intimacy (not bad sex they are different) or infidelity are all the top reasons marriages fail. I underlined and bolded past relationships as people who have premartial sex and relationships that are a so-called right of passage are a major issue for many people. Which you so eloquently tried to claim is somehow the way to better relationships. Sorry but you are misguided. I am far from some bible thumping zealot I haven't been to church since I was a kid. But I do know that there are many positives associated with many of the so-called fuddy duddy stuff associated with many religious practices such as waiting for marriage to have sex. Heck just the fact that you avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs ought to be enough for anyone to steer clear. |
+
+
Welcome to the 21st century. If it's not yet clear, allow me to clarify: education + protection + planning are very much a part of today's world, and all of them help lead to a much more secure and enjoyable intimate life than an abstinent society every managed.
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2010/04/when-is-a-bad-sex-life-cause-for-divorce/
http://www.china.org.cn/english/Life/163953.htm
http://thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful.com/2012/12/is-bad-sex-a-good-enough-reason-to-divorce.html
And I can find many others where bad sex or lack of sex has been the reason for divorce between two people. If you don't find sex to be an important part of your relationship with your significant other, it doesn't mean other people will think the same. That's a terribly narrow way of viewing things.
A relationship in which both partners cannot come to the same conclusions regarding their sexual activity will not thrive happily. There are plenty of women out there that are just miserable with their life partners as they can't achieve satisfaction from their partner. I don't see how that is HEALTHY in any way for a relationship.
Again, if it does not apply to you, it does not mean it doesn't apply to anyone else.
Also...to what can bad sex lead?
Hmmm...let's ponder...
Could it lead to the partners seeking sexual gratification somewhere else than in their conjugal bed? It could. Infidelity.
Could it lead to both partners not wanting to have sex since it's not pleasurable? It could. Lack of physical intimacy.
Could bad sex lead to comparisons with past relationships where things were better and thus spur argumetns? It could. Is the pattern clear?
You kind've made my points for me. After all...nobody dies by drinking too much water...they die of whatever drinking that much water causes, which in most cases is called drowning, which is caused by water. But the headline won't read "Man killed by water!" but "Man drowned!". I really can't believe that that was to be considered a thought out argument.
Also, bad relationships are part of growing up. You may strike gold on your first try, you may never do, but a bad relationship is indeed a gateway to a better one, to one in which you know better what you want and need, what you should expect, what you shouldn't.
I wish to boil everything down to just this: never assume that if something does not apply to your point of view, then it will not apply to anyone.
Also, I agree that there are some advantages to that religious way of life.
There are also advantages to a more open minded way of life.
Every person will decide what exactly is good for them and WHY. Not every way is right for everybody. If anyone believes there is an universal way, a right way that is undisputable...that person is an idiot.
Edit:
Regarding your later posts.
You seem to be viewing things throught your own narrow perspective. It's not a bad thing, we all have a narrow perspective on life based on our own experiences.
But I cannot agree to the conclusion that it's better to just hide your head in the sand for fear of making mistakes. THose sort of msitakes you will make if you abstain from sex or not. Education is much more important than abstinence, a social conscience instilled from young age is more important, a very clear view on what sex is and what it does is MUCH more important. Abstinence is hiding from a problem. Educating a generation and introducing them to the tools of enjoying their adult lives responsably...now that is progress, that is evolution, that is actually fixing a problem.
