| Calmador said: Genesis 2:24 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Its the last phrase that caught my eye as a kid. The become one flesh... made me respect sex as something more.. That phrase had some depth. Matthew 5:27-2827 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
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My wise, very spirtiual mother once said to not go around quoting the bible. Those that do are usually missing the meaning of the words.
So, you quote two passages that state nothing about pre-marital sex and somehow come to the conclusion that they are saying pre-marital sex is bad. I'm honestly baffled. The first quote is just talking about life. People grow up, leave their parents and become parents themselves. There's not mention of marriage in that one, only growing up having sex and making babies. In the second, it's saying that if you are married and want to cheat you are doing something wrong in your heart, even if you don't act on it. Keep your thoughts loyal as well as your actions. Good advice. But nothing about having sex before marriage. The sort of miss-interpretation of bilbe text that you are doing here is what gives Christians a bad image as being irrational.
There is actually very little reference to sex and/or marriage in the bible. It's strange how it becomes such an obsession for so many Christians. There is no description of what we would call a "traditional" marriage in the text, because, well, it didn't exist back then. There was no gold ring, no white dress, no "till death do us part" in a little white chapel. There more likely to be some 40 year old man, who's latest wife died in childbirth going over to his friend at the next farm and asking if his 14-year-old daughter could make babies yet. He'd give him a goat, some chickens and three copper pieces and they would go and make babies. And pops was glad because he had 13 other kids to feed.
I believe strongly in love and commitment and marriage, and that there is more to sex than the simple act. It is best when it's combined with respect and caring and kindness. As humans we're not just animals driven by instinct. If you are Christian you should believe in love and kindness to others as that is how you worship God. This should be especially true of a spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend. You should be loyal - whether they would know or not - and you shouldn't abuse the feelings of love they feel towards you. If you feel that you can only acomplish true love and respect by avoiding pre-marital sex, that's your choice and I hope it is good for you. I honestly don't see that there is divine instruction that it's the way to go, and I don't think that it would be right for me, but to each their own as long as it's not harming others. I just wouldn't make the assumption that people who don't follow your rule that you have created are evil, weak, less Christian or consumed by lust. That said, if I have daughters one day I will make sure they're virgins till they're 40.
