The 9 Irritating Aspects Of Online Gaming

[ecurbj]

9. N00bs:

Yes, I’m sure the Pope hates them too, spoiling the already nonexistent gaming time he has. “But, Pray tell, who are these demonic fiends?” you ask. Do not cry then, as we present a

harsh reality check to you. Noobs, or n00bs, are gamers who are relatively new to the game that you are playing. While everyone is a noob at some point, most gamers take less time to learn different aspects of the game. Most importantly, almost everyone plays, or should play through, at least half an hour in the single player aspect of any game, before they log on to multiplayer. The single player aspect of any game teaches a gamer the different aspects of the game. This way he can become skillful at the game before going online in a vain attempt to pwn (thats "own" for the noobs -Ed) someone. However, a lot of people nowadays jump to the online mode of the game, and ask other players how to play the game, or even ghastlier, PRETEND that they know all about the game, and end up doing something very stupid, like blowing themselves up, or killing their teammate. When asked about their perverted decisions, these vile, wretched creatures, with a brainpower less than a demented monkey, would pitifully exclaim, “Hey! You’re the noob, NOOB!” all the while setting fire to themselves and jumping in front of an enemy stronghold, filled with snipers.

Disgusting, you say? Choking on your own vomit already? Ha! Then do not even go near that scroll button on your mouse. Run.

8. Laaaaaaaag! :

Well, a good gamer, with good skills, interesting to battle against, but fails miserably to even pose a challenge, just because he either has a crappy 56K modem, or lives in the vast

deserts of the (you guessed it) middle east.
Lag issues have been persistent for a long time, and by far the worst sufferers have been us, the gamers in the middle east, who pray everyday, that their ISP’s would provide their countries with a better internet connection.

Lag means that your internet connection is slow, compared to the other people you are playing the game with. This often results in humorous and frustrating situations… Humorous for them, Keyboard-chuckingingly frustrating for you.

“Meh..internet connections shouldn’t hinder one from reaching his true potential!”, you say? Well, you can keep saying that after I shoot your character in the head and tea-bag him a few times before shooting "WTF!PWNED!" on the wall beside him. All this while, you will do nothing but watch the horror as the shots you tried to fire land exactly on your opponent…who was present there 10 seconds ago.

7. Spamming:

What spamming is effective in circulating is widespread hatred among all gamers to the

particular product being advertised. Expect curses galore, wild rage and some pretty stupid insults thrown at the spammer, before kicking him out of the game. Still, the distraction would have provided even a noob to creep up behind you and kill you with a knife or with his bare hands. Owned!!

6. Mutherf***ing Incessant Cursing:

I admit I’m not a saint. I curse when I keep losing against the final boss in Conan. I curse when I die repeatedly in G.R.A.W. But, I don’t think anyone should curse as much as some people do in online games.

Suffice to say that online gaming shouldn’t really be recommended for children. Ironically, it is mostly 10-year olds who keep cursing blatantly, and for no reason. These children (of Satan) are capable of spouting utter nonsense, and much worse, if you care to keep your headphones in your ear, or you actually DON’T kick them out of your server, pronto.

Read no more. Watch the insanity for yourselves:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ham0pp2XxFc

5. Uber-nerdy Gaming Talk:

Many words used in gaming language are cool, not because they sound so, but they effectively convey what feelings we are trying to express. Like when I type "Rofl pwned!!", I mean that I killed or humiliated my opponent in a way which was funny. Similar terms like- gg, owned, OMG, WTF etc. have become very popular, as they are easy and fast to type, and convey your message.

This is where it becomes ludicrous and downright scary:

OMFGG I TOTALLY PWNED YOU’RE A$$E$ LOLZ WTF WTF WTF??! I R0XX0RZ OWN3D OWN3D ROFLMAO PRAWN (yes, prawn) I OWN J00!! BIAAATCH3Z!! HALO 3 FO LIFE!!

You see, gaming language, or nerd talk has become so advanced, and has so many damn numb3rs in it, scientists must be figuring out equations from such conversations and sharing it with their buddies, and having a good laugh about it. Seriously, is this what we want?

4. Kids:

Kids shouldn’t play Gears of War. They shouldn’t play any war or action game, in fact. They should stick to Barbie’s Island Adventures, or Pikachu’s Female Mouse Fantasies or something else in those lines. This is mainly due to their uncontrollable immaturity, and so it is best that they stick to games like the aforementioned. Gears of War is a great game that can go horribly wrong if it is infected with kids. Imagine an exiting situation- your whole team is dead, only you and another gamer, someone you don’t know (pfft, probably a noob, you say.). All is still, and you have got your unsuspecting opponent in your sights, when suddenly, a horrible noise, like the angels of death beckoning you to come into the darkness, pops up all of a sudden. The sudden wail is enough to distract you and misfire your shot. The opponent knows your position now, and crawl-runs to you, and owns you with a chainsaw.

“What was that noise? That terrible screech that made my ears bleed?” Alas my friend, you did not pay heed to the “noob”. It was but a kid, one of the infamous children of Satan, who sang “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.

3. Lack Of Gaming Chicks:

Is it so bad to ask for at least one?

2. People Who Don't Have A Life:

Yes, you might say that was very n00bish of me to post this as an irritating aspect. However, I don’t refer this to good or excellent gamers. This is referred to those gamers who:

-On Counter-strike, will shoot you in the head, within 0.002 seconds of sighting you…with a pistol.
-On Command and Conquer Generals, will bring 20 Mammoth tanks to demolish your base…within 7 minutes of starting the game.
-On Halo 3, will also snipe you…while you are driving a warthog, and are launched into the air along with 5 other empty warthogs.

You may think that I am exaggerating, but you are nothing but a tame sheep… a little lamb that hasn’t crossed the grassy fields of Offline gaming yet. Do you see that forest way out in the distance? The one with trees having black leaves, where three-headed lions, mammoths, and giant…prawn (yes, prawns) live? That is the online gaming world. Don’t even think of going there. Just sit here and play Blue Dragon. It’s for your own good.

Here goes…We present to you, the most putrid, vile, smelly, disgusting and obviously, MOST IRRITATING ASPECT OF ONLINE GAMING:

1. Camping:

No. Don’t even ask the question “What’s wrong with camping? I go camping all the time!”

Camping, oh pitifully ignorant reader, is the term used for one of the most vile acts of online gaming. In any online game, except for RTS’s, after a player dies, he will respawn at a specific point on the map. Thus, he can go to battle once again and prove his mettle in front of large number of other players he’s playing with. Now suppose, just suppose, he was shot as soon as he respawned by an enemy. “But…but that would be evil! It’s as good as killing a newborn!” you sputter. I lolz at your ignorance oh reader, for this is an act that is performed by many a vile and perverted gamers.

What they do, is position themselves at a vantage point, where not many can see them, and snipe every player who gets respawned. This also adds to their body count, so they can pretend they are good gamers. “Dirty bastards!” Amen.

These gamers are not only hated by their enemies, but also by their teammates, who kick them out of the game sharp-ish. But when the time comes as to which team killed more enemies, wouldn’t the damage caused by one maniac affect the self-esteem of many others, who can’t do anything but accept defeat?

Source: Link 

I totally agreed and LMAO on all of these reasons :)