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Yeah I totally get what ur saying. I guess to me its not abput actually enflicting my hate but letting it out. Kinda how violent games are a release not an influence. Im a scorpio so im vengful. Least thats what I believe. All I know is no is sadness is a form of stress and it takes a toll on you.. Physically and mentally. I mean like acne and depression. So focusing on it is very bad. You gotta find ur own release and replace the memories with new ones. when the time is right.