Humorous console "Nicknames"

[BaldrSkies]

I have some Japanese ones:

Vita: VUTA (vuu=freezing noise), 売女(baita: prostitute)
WiiU: Wiiうんこ(wii unko: wii shit), Wiiちんこ（wii chinko: because the U logo looks like a dick), WiiVUUU(again vuu=freezing noise), レンガ(brick)
3DS: 3デス(3Death), 3rd Destroy System (referring to third parties)