I'm seeing a lot of cyclical threads... I don't know who, what, where is going on... so I thought I would take a minute to share my own perspective on the "politics" or whatever. Let's take a breather.
What happens when I logon here is a few things... I check to see if there is anything interesting. I read what is interesting and then I log off... aside from reply to the normal stuff, a lot of things can happen inbetween that. I can make the decision to, make a thread that opens a can of worms... I can respond to someone's criticism... I can ignore criticism and just post my thoughts openly. I can choose to ignore the probable consequences of it and then later find myself in a rage war over basically nothing. Or worse, I can let all the drama get to me, become even more invested by starting my own thread(s) and getting angry about it... let my own frustration with a thread that I disagree with soak up my time, raise my blood pressure and find myself caring about what some 'user' of whom I otherwise know nothing else about... What I try to do instead: I remind myself it's the internet. It's not serious business.
I don't know who it is I am talking to. I don't know if the person is Jesus Christ from an axe murderer. Or if anything I even say to them really means as much as I think it means to them. To them, I am probably just a username. I realize sometimes it can leave that realm, but I don't think for me it does often... For the most part, when I turn off the computer, this world is 'gone'. Yes, it's an amusing place to come to when I am bored. However, theoretically my worries should be gone with it if they do not personally affect me... once I turn that computer off.
That user with the man in drag avatar no longer matters, I am not forced to see it. That guy who hates Nintendo so much he's cursing a storm no longer can be heard and his words mean nothing to me. I can continue enjoying the console if I so choose or defect to Playstation (or play both!). My choice. No ego involved if that's what I simply want to do. I think the hours I could spend reading about that guy who keeps posting that thing that I disagree with that only matters within that minute experience in a small context such as a forum ... maybe I should instead do something else then. Like if I should be working on something, I should work on it. If it's going above other priorities. Or if I am looking for entertainment and intellectual stimulation (my #1 reason for coming here), then maybe find a more effective way... go out with a like-minded friend who wants to have fun as much as I do or go play a videogame that does that for me. Come back refreshed and get more out of it.
I've been in the shoes of people who spend too much time on forums. To me, it was a social experiment at first. But after a while, I realized it was just a horrible social experiment in how anti-social the internet (and people) can become... Yes, it's entertaining and highly addictive sometimes.. to want to live out the experience... but there comes a point where I had to weigh the pros versus the cons and decide for myself, am I spending too much time at a place and getting my blood pressure worked up over nothing (because I think my argument skills could be better)? Or... is it making me write stupid crap that doesn't matter in the longrun that will only cause more of the stupid crap that I hate to read. So why not choose to disengage emotionally instead and go play a game instead? Come back here and talk about that subject maybe... I realized I never missed anything after all doing things that way and I often times found people who I liked better and had more in common being that way versus getting wrapped up in politics or what someone has said about something... which... probably had nothing to do with me anyway, had more to do with an argument someone wanted to live out in real life.
I don't believe in sunshines and rainbows 24/7. Not my persepctive. I think that for the most people carve their own existance. I've seen other people on here they also believe this, so I think this too could ring true... personally, to me, there's a lot of things on this forum that happen because of human nature ,but then also, some people believe the things they say to be so real and important they forget they can turn off the computer and just disengage... that is all. They forgot choice. Add it's so easy to do. I still sometimes have to remind myself, but I've gotten much better about it and my experience is more enjoyable for it. It would be better in the longrun if you used that option... if even just to practice it. Instead of creating 100 threads about the same wearying topic. Who cares really? The same people will come post the same things they do in the thread everywhere else in the same forum... do we really read what they say anyway? Or did we just get mad and hit Send?
You cannot control what someone else writes, but you can control what you write, the topics you start, and the amount of time you spend here. I have to remind myself this constantly. For me, it's necessary time management also because of my life's obligations... my family, husband, dog, disabled/ill grandmother & parents... my work and my portfolio. So to some degree, I had no choice to get this way. But I'm hoping that maybe somebody else will get something out of it too, read this and think... why the hell am I letting my blood pressure get so high over some dumb thing that I just read from people I don't even know in a place that disappears when the computer goes off? Why??.. Sure, forum politics. Serious business, the absolute importantest thing in the world. Who cares? How important is it really? Ask yourself why you come here and that'll be easier to determine. It would make the mods job a lot less harder in retrospect if we did not create threads that we created for the wrong reasons...everyone would not have to complain about bans if less people were getting banned in flamewars!
I've done a little reading on this, so here's some articles I thought were interesting... last time I got upset about something stupid, I did this googling and it saved me quite a bit of nerve... why did I care what I read? Lots of things were happened that didn't really involve me personally anyway. I end up taking a lot of breaks from forums over this thinking, but it's good for me so I can't complain...
"The Online Disinhibition Effect"
http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/disinhibit.html
"The Psychology of Online Forums"
http://voices.yahoo.com/the-psychology-online-forums-750677.html?cat=9
I'm probably breaking some online unsaid rule like don't be on the internet talking about the internet... but who the hell cares. I just think it's good food for thought... either way...
Edited for clarity.
