Baddman on 20 January 2013
| Dodece said: @spurgeonryan Have you ever considered the possibility that it isn't the urinals they are avoiding but you. Seriously though I prefer the stall. Whenever you are at a urinal you are at the mercy of whoever decides to sidle up next to you. Who wants to take a piss next to someone who is wheezing, smells like shit, randomly spasms, or has nasty looking growths on their body. Sure you can ignore them and focus on the puddle in front of you, but that is usually equally nauseating, because some people think that Urinals double as Spittoons. That all said I think that Urinals are at best a outdated concept, and at the very worst a full blown conspiracy. To deprive men of the toilets they both need and deserve. Hell I think public restrooms are a conspiracy on the whole. Anything taking space from toilets should be reconsidered. Urinals takes up space that could be better used for a toilet, and the same goes for the wall of sinks you usually find in public restrooms. I have reached this conclusion, because it is a recurring nightmare that has descended upon me many times in my life. There I am about to shit myself, and I bolt into the restroom. Only to find the paltry amount of stalls occupied, and it is at that moment that I curse the fucking deranged architects or public officials who for whatever reason cannot see the situation for what it is. The highest demand thing in a public restroom is the toilet. Nobody would die if they had to get in line to use the sink, and nobody will die if there isn't a Urinal, but people have been known to soil themselves while waiting for a stall to open up. Talk about throwing people into desperate situations. You are stuck standing there, and everything starts to look doable. You start to wonder if you can get away with taking a dump in the Garbage can, or even in the Urinals. You contemplate storming the Ladies restroom, begging or outright threatening the current occupants. You even consider going down to all fours, and if you wait long enough something truly terrifying happens. You begin to contemplate the unthinkable. That you are just going to have to take a crap in your pants, and that is about the time when you start to do that death moan, and someone in the stalls takes honest to god pity on you, and finishes up as fast as humanly possible. Let me be clear I haven't actually shit myself since I was a small child, but I have come close a number of times, and it is always as terrifying as the last time. Just some food for thought. I wonder if you will think about what I just said next time it happens to you. |
lmfao 
