Hey kids it everyone's favorite time! IT'S HISTORY TIME!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Today's lesson is called "Future Proof" or "Why you are inbred retard if you think this phrase is anything more than a marketing tool."
"But Professor Crab," you might write me, "my favoritist company in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD tells me that the console I just sold my kidney for is Future Proof. I grew up with them and I trust them, you are a bad bad man for saying they are lying. I hope you die." Signed "NamingMyFirstBornKutaragi".
Well boys and girls, lets take a little look at what history has to say. Here are the earliest launch dates for all of our favorite consoles for the last few generations.
SNES 11-21-1990 (JP)
N64 06-23-1996 (JP)
Game Cube 09-14-2001 (JP)
Wii 11-19-2006 (NA)
Playstation 12-03-1994 (JP)
PS2 03-04-2000 (JP)
PS3 11-11-2006 (JP)
Genesis 10-29-1988 (JP)
Saturn 11-22-1994 (JP)
Dreamcast 11-27-1998 (JP)
Xbox 11-15-2001 (NA)
360 11-22-2005 (NA)
Wow, I know that's a lot of numbers. Don't be afraid, they are our friends. Let's look at them.
What do you notice about these numbers? That's right! There is only one place where there is a gap of over 6 years. Now, I know you might be saying to yourself, "Well Gee, Sony looks like they keep to a 6 year cycle". Not so little trooper, look a little closer. The Playstation 2 launched a little late, just passed the 1999 holiday season and the Playstation 3 was delayed a full year. If you tap that little noggin of yours, you'll notice that most console makers are on about a 5 year turnaround. There were only 4 years between the first Xbox and the 360, but, if Microsoft was to keep the same cycle, the next Xbox would have to come out the end of next year. Now, how long does it take to make a game? Anyone? Anyone? That's right, a while. How long does it take to make a game for a new system? Bingo! Longer. If I was going to hold to the 5 year cycle and was going to develop a launch game for it, when would I start working on it? One year before release, or two? Ding, Ding, Ding! You are smart kids.
The bonus question is, what indication do we have that this cycle is changing? Wow, right again! None at all!
Your homework kids is to go home and pray to god that the article writer's computer spontaneously strangles him with with his mouse cord.
Thank god for the disable signatures option.
