It's a matter of believing what you want to believe. That's what faith is, kind of a willful self-delusion. It's the art of pushing the things that don't add up, that don't make sense, into the back of your mind.
I grew up belonging to church and all of that. I had all these questions, all these moral problems with what I was reading, with all the contradictions. When I would ask about them, though, all I would get were uncomfortable shifts and "why don't you pray about that." Strangely, praying did absolutely nothing for me.
I never got any answers to my questions about christianity. In fact, the more I learned, the less I liked what I was reading. I was finally able to admit to myself that I didn't like this god very much at all and stopped trying to convince myself that I believed. The parts that were reinforced by fear were the hardest, of course, but the further I got from it the sillier it became.
I feel a lot better about myself now that I don't have all that guilt about "doubting". I think guilt is the ultimate tether to religion. It keeps people troubled and down, which makes them vulnerable to anything that promises stability. Of course, the other way to escape guilt is to be a true-believer and accept what you're told without thinking about it, but that's impossible for me. I could never stop thinking about things, so I don't think religion is for me.
