Dating someone with kids

[TeddostheFireKing]

Max King of the Wild said:

TeddostheFireKing said:

Max King of the Wild said:

pokeclaudel said:
I went to talk to her this afternoon. I'm not going to go into details but after talking she's gonna give me a second shot but I'm not allowed to see her kids until she says it's okay. One thing that stuck out was that she said I took care of the kids better than the actual father ever did but I'm not sure if that's true or she just wants me to feel more guilty than I already do. After this whole ordeal I think I've learned a something pretty horrible about myself that I hope I can change. As some of you have said I'm not a kid and I need to start growing up.

Thanks for the advice.

Bound to fail.

If you have the attitude it will fail, it will. A postive outlook in this situation will do wonders.

I didn't see this thread until today, but its good you talked to her again Poke. She may be hesitant with you being around the child right now, but soon, things will return to the way they were, which is good, because it sounded like you enjoyed it :)

Sorry, didn't have time to expand on my thoughts and forgot to go back later. The reason I say this is because of a few different reasons.

1. He admits he needs to "grow up." Thats fantastic! but... it's not something you can really force yourself to do. On top of that he may start despising it since he basically forced himself into maturity and may start blaming her for it.

2. She set restrictions on him with the kids. Uh... restrictions are never a good thing. I don't really feel like I need to expand on that further.

3. She totally lied to him about being a better father. Why do I say this? He started dating her 2 months ago. This incident happened 3 weeks ago. So that leaves a month and a week of relationship time. "After being with her for a while (A while is how long?) I started doing minor stuff." Lets say his "for a while" is 3 weeks. Now, no matter how shitty of a father figure the actual dad is I would not feel comfortable in being able to compare ANYONE to him with just 2 weeks of "data" for lack of a better word. Especially since after 2 weeks of doing minor things he completely bailed. I can't seeing the father being much worse. Not saying the father is better by any means. I'm simply saying she couldn't possibly know that with such limited data especially after the shitty bail out by the OP. Especially taking into consideration that it seems like it's the same guy for both kids... Which means the guy was most likely around for at least the first year of the first childs life at the earliest. Unless the mom and the dad got right back to business immediatly afterward and he left right after insemination

1). When my mates say they need to grow up or be more mature, they're generally the most mature ones and use a few examples of when they do something a little childish as their standard, the way they really act is often quite mature and they can act as excellent role models (but this would vary a lot).

2). Long term restrictions are not, temporary ones I can agree too, of course how long is too long is open to extreme debate (and would again vary per person).

3). Ok you win this point :P

Yeah you win this argument tbh :P

But can we both agree to proceed with caution but have a positive outlook on this relationship? :)