Dating someone with kids

[GhaudePhaede010]

Max King of the Wild said:

GhaudePhaede010 said:

d21lewis said:
She shouldn't have let you meet the kids until she's serious that you're going to be in their lives or she needs somebody to buy them Christmas presents.

That's how it works, bro.

That is patent crap. I believe someone should meet my children as soon as they meet me, or even before if possible. I want them to know what they are getting into early so if they cannot handle it, there are no serious feelings to be hurt early on.

Meeting the children later can only make things more complicated. Everyone should know everyone asap, unless parents sleep around a lot and know they are not looking for a relationship.

I agree with d21lewis. The kids have no concept of whats going on. There really is no reason to meet someone who wont be around for long. The guy needs to be serious about the woman before he can know if he wants to be serious about the kids.

*facepalm*

Any serious parent knows you cannot be serious about a relationship unless your partner is serious about the child/children. They go hand-in-hand. To try to seperate the two is completely selfish and doomed to a measure of failure once thee other person realizes the freedom they have had with the parent is a fleeting reality. Thee only way to know how serious someone is about me, is to know how they can handle being with a father. Not with a man that has children somewhere; a father.

And it works the same way with a mother. If a mother wants to know how serious a man is about the relationship, from before day 1 (if possible), the partner should have a feel for the parents relationship with their child/children. Something that can only be gained first hand and not from story telling. Anything less is advertising the child/children as secondary and that should never be the representation of a parent. Between me and my girlfriend, we share 8 children. I met her children about three days into dating her and she met mine before we started dating at all. How she parents, how her children behave (if they are bad, well-behaved, have attachment issues, or have mental disabilities), how she changes as a person when around her chlidren are vital TO THE RELATIONSHIP and could have changed how I felt about her. Also, if a child/children is uncomfortable around thee other person, it is best known from the start so you can build together if possible as opposed working the relationship from the ground up all over again (if the relationship is not ended at that point; in my case, it would have been). A serious parent (I use the term loosely) knows better than to keep the children out of their life in that manner because the child is the parents life. If a parent is looking for a serious relationship, they better advertise being a parent first, and single second. If looking for a hookup, then you are correct, keep the lives distanced.

 

As far as advice to this guy, just move on. You care too much about the situation and that shows me you should walk away right now.