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For me it has always been like the Koebke definition, it all has to do with how much control you have over your char, if you can decide how he will grow that makes you more close to him because that character is basically you, your preferences made that character a mage, a smooth talker or whatever you wanted it to be, (for example) of course by that definition MH and Zelda are not Rpg's, they are Action/Adventure for most (including me).

btw i think this is an awesome thread :D