| d21lewis said:
We are given certain things as fact. Time and time again, we as a species have chosen to challenge what is presented as fact and instinctively forge our own paths. Wheter it's the slave that was born knowing nothing but captivity or the man who was told it was wrong to be gay or the person that decided that we could tap into electricity to power our lives--certain things are beyond our control but we have a natural inclination to challenge. Accepting that "I have no control because I'm just an amalgam of different outside factors" is just a mind state that I don't subscribe to and refuse to subscribe to. We aren't robots that just absorb data and react to it. We are more. At least, that's my take on things. |
I don't know. From what I've seen, upbringing seems to be the sole factor in determining a personality for people. I have an anecdote for you to read if you're interested
I have a half-brother about a year older than me (he's 19 & I'm 18). We couldn't be further apart in terms of personality. He got bad grades, got into fights a lot, would steal occasionally, got arrested a few times, he's selfish, used to bully smaller people, etc. His morals in general are just pretty fucked up. Ex. He doesn't really do anything nice unless he gets something out of it. He's like the complete opposite of myself. And our personalities were different since I could first form memories (when I was around 4 or 5 probably). When I was that young, I could remember him misbehaving, rebelling for the sake of rebelling, bullying littler kids. He was basically a younger version of the person he is today. And the same goes for me. I was the younger version of the person I am today. Very little has changed about ourselves from when were young. And our relatives say our personalities contrasted way back when we were just learning to walk.
That's why I think upbringing is what determines a person's personality. (Either that, or our personality was set when we were born, in which case, it's still out of control). I said earlier he was my half-brother, we had different mothers. I didn't live with him. I would stay with him on the week-ends, holidays, and on summer vacation though. I think our difference is the result of what our parents allowed. I stayed with my mom who was very strict on being a good person. She made sure I always got good grades in school. At the same time, she always tried to be fair. She would explain to me why something was wrong or right. At a young age, I was convinced that hurting others is always wrong. I would often visit my aunts & uncles who were hilarious people. Everytime I was around them, I would observe their behavior and try to learn their comedic tactics and I think this is the reason I always try to please people moreso a lot. Even in school, whenever I confronted another kid, I would always try not to fight, even though my mother taught me to fight when I had to defend myself. I was so entrenched in the idea to not hurt people even when they would hurt me. The idea of someone being hurt made me feel pain myself.
On the other hand, my brother lived with his mother and our father. From the moment I could remember, he was always getting below-average grades in school. He was always hanging out in his neighborhood with troublesome kids who undoubtedly had an impact on his personality. I remember meeting the kids in his neighborhood and I couldn't help thinking, "these kids are bad". My mom must have given my brain a filter that allowed me to decipher between "good" people and "bad" people. But my brother looked up to these kids and would always try to fit in with them, always tried to impress them. I didn't understand it. His personality as he grew up mirrored that of the kids in the neighborhood. ( I didn't have many kids in my neighborhood, so no one really affected my personality). And then his mother had an odd way off discipining him. She would get mad and yell at him over the most insignificant things - something my mother would never do. She would yell at him whenever she was just angry - something my mother would never do. I knew her actions were wrong but my brother thought this was normal parenting. He didn't establish an idea of fairness, he just thought "whenever my parents are upset, I'm in trouble". That probably explains why he would bully other kids.. He didn't understand fairness or anything like that.
And then I could always look at some of my cousins, friends, schoolmates, etc and their personality is the same, in the sense that their personality was set at a very young age. The 'bad' kids were 'bad' when they were very young. The 'smart' kids were 'smart' when they were very young. I think depending on the environment you grow up in, certain behavior is encouraged. For me, the 'smart' & 'funny' behavior was encouraged. For my brother the 'bad' & rebellious' behavior was encouraged as his peers would alwasys praise him for it. Of course some people can break off from the restraints of their environment, but I think those people have an intelligence way higher than average. I think for most people. their morals remain the same from their childhood. Sure, you could say they have the ability to change their morals when the become adults, but if your morals our bad, what would influence you to improve your morals?
I don't know. Just something I've observed through my life.
