Life. Why try so hard? In the end, nothing truly ever matters. At most, we will all be but a memory.
I have not, but I have known a few who has. Talk to me, OP. I may have known here as a spammer but it is a way to disregard the seriousness in life. Have fun, and let loose. We've all had dark times but in it is always a light. We can help you find this. We can get through this.
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