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TadpoleJackson said:

I've...

Pirated
Ran red lights
Drove drunk
Sped
California stopped
Drank while underaged
bought moonshine
perjured <- I think
Stole wifi
"Stole people's identities" <- Not really, but the law constitutes it as identity theft
Hunted without a permit
Drove without a license
Trespassed
Hunted out of season(again, without a license)
Bought a firearm second hand.

Geez Gramps! You're quite the badbutt!