menx64 said:
I know it is a matter of confidence. Somehow I lost confidence after I got rejected by the most amazing woman I have ever met. After that I felt very bad and I promised to stay away from any woman (Pathetic I know). It didnt take long before I tried again but I got rejected again, so I thought obviously I was doing something wrong. I dont have any real female friends (I know some women from work and stuff, but nothing close to a real friend) so I had no real clue on what was I doing wrong to begin with. So after a few more tries (some were somehow successful some others though...) I realized it had to be me and so my confidence fell down big time. Little by little I feel like I am losing some social skills, for some reason I cannt even keep eye contact with anybody anymore, I feel nervous to talk to people (even when I talk to a bank teller or at the register)... I have a relatively nice job and my economic situation is fine so I guess I am doing some things right but socializing is becoming a major problem for me.
@hesapooka: 26. |
I feel ya, I have some major confidence issues as well, but for a different reason. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety, at least in a mild form. It is basically that nervous feeling in your gut before giving a speech for class - except you feel that in a lot more social situations. Sometimes even just hanging out with friends. so gaining confidence is an uphill battle with that sort of state of mind. I try to be confident but there's always this paranoia in the back of my mind terrified of doing/saying something stupid. I struggle with the eye contact thing too, even with my family and close friends.
And obviously chicks generally aren't too into the whole nervous/shy thing. I do have a couple of girls I occasionally hang out with and consider friends, but the idea of a relationship is about as foreign and intimidating to me as skydiving or climbing Everest.
I'm sure rejection is tough to deal with, though I give you props for at least having the courage to ask in the first place. Some people struggle even with that. If you already have courage, I think confidence should naturally follow. I know it's easy for me to sit here and say, but try not to get too down on one rejection, and realize that it is a very common thing. I'd say if anything, use the rejection as a growing experience, and the fuel to motivate yourself to persevere. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
