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chocoloco on 21 March 2012
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Jay520 said:
chocoloco said:
Jay520 said:
chocoloco said:

It is a shame you have not fought before otherwise you would know if you are a better ground or standing fighter. Since he is fat, the obvious choice is your stand up game, next comes style.

I recommend the always faithful drunken monkey style. Literally get trashed and go for his face. When his puddgy self hits you, you will feel nothing due to being a dunken monk. Practice makes perfect so get drunk every night until the match and pick fights with progressively bigger and bigger fat dudes each day. By Saturday, you will be well trained in street fighting and be ready to beat all the heavy weight out of shape fat guys of the world. Trust me I have never lost a fight!



Hmmm... I don't know... This advice seems fishy. How many fights have you been in?

More than I can remember. I trained under master drunk street fighter Kimbo slice.

 


Okay, this seems legit. What's the ideal alcoholic beverage?

I am so glad you are ready to be a champion brawler!!!

Okay, so beer and wine are bad. Beer will slow you down as you will have to drink large quantities that will make you bloated and burpy. Wine will give you a headache and also requires larger volume of consumption. Hard liquor  is your key to victory. Not any of those pansy flavored drinks that will also fill you up and slow you down. Straight up shots are the best, and the type only matters depending on what type of nationality you want to fight as. Russian style requires Vodka and will make you grow a beard like Kimbo and often causes tobacco smoking. Tequila gives you that Mexican/Latin temper that causes no fear to be experienced, while often causing you to behave like a Mexican luchador/ wrestler. Whiskey is mostly like an Irishmen who is the most adept at drinking and thus automatically adds fighting experience. Whiskey also is American like a cowboy and will cause instant quickness and accuracy. Most of all do not drink it all at once, pace yourself and know you will grow as a fighter.

Side effects include being more attracted to ugly women, so be prepared to wake up next to a fat chick after the fight, it is okay it is all natural.

Do this and win and win honorably!