You know how the guys who have played some sports before, tend to get picked for teams earlier? It's kinda the same. You know how when you're playing some kind of online game, and there's a guy in your team talking himself up in the lobby , but 2 minutes in - he's there with 16 deaths and 1 kill, and you're like "crap, can we boot this guy? He's got no experience, he doesn't know where he's going on the map, and he can't aim straight"
Well it's kinda the same. Or as an old buddy used to put it - "the more tail you get, the more tail you get". And if you're not getting any - best to drop the "playa" approach from the playbook. Just like Mr 1kill16deaths, all your talk and bluster will make you look even lamer when you get knifed while looking at the ground 30 seconds in.
Trust me - there are plenty of single girls out there - simple statistics prove this , they're just not the ones you're looking at. You're not trying out for the dating Olympics, you just need to get out and amongst it. And don't sweat the small stuff. It's incredibly rare that two people meet and are %100 compatible from the go. Relationships are mutually developed things, and as two people grow, they grow together, and their relationship grows. All it takes is a spark to start off a slow burning flame, but you've gotta give it some oxygen.
Keep your mind open - take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror, and try to think about what type of girl you might appeal to. If you weigh 300lbs, maybe not go for the blonde cheerleader or hippy types. It's called natural selection for a reason, so act natural. Be genuine. You might think you're acting all "playa" but most women can see through that straight away, same way you can tell if a smart girl is acting dumb or vice versa, and even if there's respect and admiration (which you think you earn from "showing off") - if there's no trust , there's not going to be anything.
Also - if you're looking for a relationship (and even though plenty of people have given one night stand advice, I assume you're looking for a long term relationship) - understand that you're not looking for a total clone (same interests/tastes) - but rather someone who challenges and (while appreciating your likes/dislikes) gets you to see a bigger picture , while respecting their likes/dislikes - even if they're different to yours. Most guys don't fall in "love at first sight" (maybe lust, but that rarely works out longterm, as they fall in lust regularly!) - but find someone they like and really grow to love them more and more as the years go by, and you grow and share life experience together.
Most importantly though - and it's hardwired into genetics despite all the psychobabble the opposite way - women like men who REPRESENT something. The old cliche of Firemen getting all the tail isn't simply because they are firemen. It's because - straight away - when someone hears "fireman" - they think - saving lives, working hard, brave person. Whether that's true or not, it's something easily relatable. When they hear musician and said musician plays some music - they understand! It's tougher to be "part time sales clerk, play some magic the gathering, lots of games and listening to 80's rock" (or whatever) - this is where having a social hobby comes in. Join a casual local sports team, the chess club, anything - just set a goal. Ambition and dedication means you will work hard to build a life together for you both (and yes, this is genetically hardwired) - and even if it's just a "dream" (to win the local comp, or be the best chess player in your city - or whatever) - clearly defined ambition is key at marking out the sort of person you want to be. You're in your 20's - a "work in progress" - no one expects you to be CEO of your own company or Don Draper - but they have to see you're a work worth progressing with.
I'm not saying stop playing games or whatever or be "cool" - but if you've got multiple things going on in your life - pick one, and OWN it. Make it your driving force. Don't be a leaf in the breeze. This doesn't mean constantly reinforcing your opinions, just having something you believe in. Some people call it "game" some people call it "wagon" (as in - if someone's going to hitch their star to your wagon, there best be a wagon, and a solid one at that) - but at least look like your looking forward to the rest of your life, and while maybe not a concrete one (or anything too delusional like "I'll be the king of fighters!") - she's gonna wanna know your wagn's moving, and not got a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track (to parahrase Neil Young)
And listen to her. And support her. She needs a partner that lifts her spirits and makes her feel confident and safe - not a critic.
All other types of Bullshit will work for one night stands - but if you want a relationship - you've gotta keep it real. If real is a little boring, you've gotta make that real better! Don't circle/analyse/hypothesise over one or two girls, talk to lots of them, then talk to lots more - you don't even know what your type is yet, so you gotta find out! If you don't know your size, you gotta try a few pairs on.
And don't be afraid of some abysmal failures. There's always a few, for everyone. If you don't approach any girl as the "be all end all" and just take a laidback relaxed "take it as it comes" approach - no loss no fail.
You'll do fine.
