Smacking Children: Good or Bad?

[IvorEvilen]

Does not compute...? If my parents were bad at parenting, then does that make me a bad person D:?

In all seriousness, I was spanked a few times as a child, and from what I remember, nothing set me more straight. My parents didn't do it out of anger. They would sentence me, and sometime later, I would be called over and taken up to my parents' room. I was always told that they loved me, and that disobedience brings discipline. I was a pretty mild child, but there were times were I know I was out of sorts and needed to be disciplined.

Now, I know that doesn't work for all children. My younger brother had a pretty awful temperament when he was little. My parents spanked him frequently, but we were all left baffled when every form of discipline failed. We later came to realize that he was autistic and my parents drastically changed their parenting style towards him compared to my other siblings and myself, and as he gets older it is hard to believe how ill-behaved he once was.

I find it unrealistic with all the posts claiming that parents who spank their children are bad at parenting. There is negative reinforcement and positive reinforcement. Individually, yes, both forms work, but as a sum, they are worth so much more. Every situation is different and sometimes there are situations where negative reinforcement is more appropriate... and sometimes that negative reinforcement is going to be painful. Not every kid is going to respond the same to being grounded or losing their favorite game.

It's not the punishment that is the problem. It is the failure to implement it correctly (bad parenting) that is the problem. Regardless of whether they smack their kid or scream at them, or don't do anything at all, every parenting tool can be used poorly, and as a result, have a negative impact.