I'd lose my house, my car, my girlfriend, and my medical coverage. My teeth would be rotten from having nothing but gum to chew on. I'd have to steal for food but I'd quickly be apprehended by police because the shoes I made from gum would slow me down. In my escape attempt, I'd go for the cop's gun and kill him by accident (I never meant to hurt anybody!). Then his cop friends would kick my ass and arrest me. They'd, say "Death is too good for you, Gum Shoe." I'd be raped in jail and probably kill myself because of the mental trauma. I'd be buried in a simple casket and nobody would mourn my demise.
This thread has depressed me to no end. I wouldn't wish "gum payment" on my worst enemy! Why did you put me through this mental anguish, spurgeonryan? For your amusement? To make your Trident gum stock sell? You can't just make threads like this without considering people's feelings, you know? I'm a human being!
Jerk.
