Immortal said:
I'm beginning to detest cynicism now. This really feels stupid.
Honestly, people are not that simple. If only because of values hammered into you through society, if someone treats you decently, you'll feel - oh, I don't know - bad about treating them badly in response. There's a reason for which calling someone an animal has a negative connotation despite being biologically correct. We consider ourselves smarter than "oh, she gave me a treat - she must really like me doing this". (I dare say that this isn't even entirely true for animals.) When Sally acts so nicely despite Hank's actions, he'll go "why did she do that? I was mean to her". Unless he is an utter moron, he will realize that she was hurt by what he said and is therefore trying to please him now. Since he is in a relationship with her, he'll feel bad about putting her through pain. This is what any relationship of any value in human society is based upon - caring for the other person as well as yourself. If he continues being rotten, he doesn't care for her at all, which means they might as well have a divorce. Therefore, since he does already care for her, he'll see that, by most of society's values, she is being an awfully nice person, feel remorseful for his actions which hurt someone he cared for who is being nice regardless and consequently improve his behaviour.
Now, of course, this is only for mutually caring relationships. If Sally and Hank don't care for each other (again, divorce would be best), then she might as well tell him to go to hell. Unless she's incapable of defending herself for some reason (as in, when it gets serious enough to drag the law into this) and Hank can become worse without any possible reprecussions, this ought to get her a better result. For other forced relationships with coworkers, classmates and others whom you don't have much of a choice but to be with, the OP's logic probably applies. They usually don't care for you and only for their own benefit so you have to be tough with them so you don't get pushed around. (If they're agreable enough people, you can try your luck being decent, but I suppose that's too much to ask.)
I'll admit I have no PhD in human psychology, but several years of unavoidable social interaction have given me enough data to debunk a theory that is obviously flawed and has rarely applied to those I know in real life. Stuff like this is almost entirely like a self-fulfilling prophecy - if you convince everyone that this is true, they'll change their actions to match what they think is what is normal and what should happen, causing everyone to have to be rotten to each other to get through life. The reason you even have to be firm with people you're forced to interact with is because it's becoming less and less of a moral and social obligation to "be nice", as it were, or even appreciate such a quality.
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