| trasharmdsister12 said: So I went to a birthday shindig today and I realized just how far I've drifted from those people whom I considered family at a point in my life. It also hit me how abnormal I am as I had almost nothing to talk about to any of them that was interesting at all. I could throw out words like "image processing", "mobile communication modulation schemes", etc.... and they'd just stare at me blank eyed, nodding and reassuring me "that's cool!" (which all of them did).... And then I'd return the questioning to hear "Oh I just got back from _____" or "I'm going to be a <insert commong job here>". I don't think I've ever felt so out of place in my life. And when people were talking to me I was genuinely not interested in hearing what they had to say. I kept zoning in and out of conversations. Then later when they were all saying how they haven't seen me in ages and they don't recognize me anymore and that we should get together more often, all I could think about was "How the Hell am I gonna get out of this one?" It's really freaking me out right now... At one point this girl just randomly came up to me, put her arm around me and took a picture of us... and then looked at it and said "You have a really nice smile!" and I just went "Oh? Thanks! That's nice" and kinda zoned out staring at a wall!
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I went through that phase, too. I even got to the point where I could have an entire conversation without listening to a word other people said. It's not that I thought I was better than anybody--I just didn't care (unless it was a hot female that I made myself think I was in love with). It's like I was more comfortable with virtual people than real people. I think I'm just about "normal", now.
I think it's had a side effect on my kid, though. In my efforts to shun the entire human race (except for the previously mentioned girls whom I wouldn't allow within 100 ft of my kid!), I think I raised her to prefer isolation to other kids. Aside from a few friends that come over every now and then, she just likes playing with me, video games, or her stuffed animals. Not the way I hoped she would be and not the way I was when I was a kid.
There I go, rambling again!
