So today is my sister's birthday. She invites me to go bowling with her and some friends in the next town over. I hop in my car and about 40 miles away from home, I decide to stop and buy some gas. I pump about $15 worth (approximately 1 gallon, I think....) and realize that I don't have my Credit/Debit card. I stop pumping and tell the clerk that I gotta go back home and grab my card.
"I can't authorize that", he says. Apparently, this is the only English he knows. "I can't authorize that."
So I tell him to call his boss. He does. His boss doesn't speak English, either. Eventually, he communicates to me that I have to stay in the store and call somebody to bring the $15. Fuck that shit. I show him pics of me in my cell phone. "I'm the police. I will leave my license here and come back in about an hour with the money. I won't rob you.", I say.
"I can't authorize that.", he repeats. So I walk the fuck out of the store. The guy is yelling for me to come back. I act like I don't hear him.
I get home and look for my card and I can't find it. As it turns out, when I bought dinner last night, I tossed my card in the bag that the food came in. Subsequently, I tossed that bag in the garbage. Also, I took the garbage out last night and tossed that garbage into a dumpster. "How do you know, d21lewis?", you ask? Because I had to climb inside of a fucking dumpster and endure the stench of rotten garbage juice, rotten fruit, and whatever else people threw away between last night and today until I found my garbage, opened that bag, found the bag from last night, opened that bag, and found my card.
I then rushed back, an hour and a half later and pay for my gas. "I can't authorize that" was still there. (He can also say, "Thank you. Have a nice day!"). I didn't make it to the bowling alley. I did manage to get in a little mini-golf and buy my sis a gift card (and L.A. Noire for myself!! My Birthday was Thursday, btw........). All in all, not a bad day. I just had to cross the line between man and hobo.
